I have a friend, (who shall remain nameless) who is a bisexual. She's my age, and is out to everybody at school. She occasionally gets a bit of homophobia thrown her way, but she deals with it. However, her family is severely homophobic. As in, round them up and kill them in gas chambers like it's WWII, homophobic. Her mother is an extremely devout Christian, and her father is a Muslim, I think, and her grandparents come from Africa. They are the sort of people that will just randomly go off on one about how bad gay people are, and they think that bisexual people are even worse. It really upsets her to hear this when she's at home, especially when she brings friends round - she basically has to make them swear on their life not to mention her bisexuality. She's thinking that she might tell them in a few years when she's not dependant on them, but it's not healthy for your mentality to go through this kind of stuff for the next however many years she'll have to stay there. On the other hand, there's a very real possibility that she will get disowned and kicked out, which would be even worse for her mental health. What should I do and tell her to help her? :help:
I definitely don't think she should come out to them until after she moves out and is financially independent. She's in a tough spot and I think all you can do is be there for her. We all need someone to talk to, someone to listen and help us through our struggles. Don't dwell on it though. Take her out and do something fun. Listen to her but also help her get her mind off it. (I hope that makes sense.) Yes she is bisexual but that is not all she is.
My family are homophobic too i know that feeling cant see myself coming out to them. It a very hard situation the best thing you can do is be there for her as coming out to family may do more harm then good at this point thats just my opinon.
Wow, your friend is certainly in a touch position. But since she's only 17 she probably needs to stay in the closet with her parents, until she can move out and become financially able to support herself. For you, all you can do is listen to her, and offer her your support. You can't fix her situation, but you can be there for her. Sometimes all people need is someone who simply does nothing else but lend an ear! She's blessed to have you for a friend.
It's a shame that there's nothing I can do towards helping her family stop being homophobic, but I'll do my best to just be there for her. She sometimes texts me when she's in the middle of a vocal gay-bashing convo, but I'm a bit awkward with what to say, because if I'm in that sort of situation, I either ignore it (which I can't do, since she's reaching out to me) or a get pissed off at them (again, not feasible). What's the best way to help her in this situation. Btw, I can't go see her, she lives several miles away and we usually only meet at school.
You sound like a good friend, just be there for her it all you can do really at this point. Maybe one day the parents will change then again some people can never get out of old habits.
Thanks for the support guys She said she'll text me whenever they're having an anti-gay rant to help distract her, and she thinks that once she finishes uni, she'll tell her family.
Good thing you are there for her to be a good friend. Coming out for her at this time is really not an option. She needs to be in that household until she can get out on her own and support herself and at the age of 17 she probably is not ready. Just be there for her there is nothing you can do right now to change her parent religious views. Maybe in time they will accept her for who she is but maybe not. She is lucky to have you in her life. Stay strong for her because you may be her only out.....
