So, it's the end of the year, I have a week left of school. I have this one teacher that I'm really close to; she teaches English, which is my favourite subject, and I'm a pretty good writer so she loves me. I'm in her creative writing club, and we talk about books and stories all the time, and she helped me out earlier this year when I was really upset about something. I want to come out to her- I'm not sure why, it's just this incredible need, like "I have to tell her!" But the thing is, I'm not sure when, where, or how to do it, and I don't even know why I want to, and I don't know if she would care. Like, she's a wonderful person and a wonderful teacher, so I know she would CARE, but she might be like, "Okay... why are you telling me this?" So I guess basically I'm asking, should I tell her? Any suggestions on how? ~megan~
Because you've proven to be a great friend and you've helped me through stuff, and I tell you this because It is important for my close friends to know. If she's as close and caring to you as you say now. Good luck!!!
Hi Megan! Only come out when you feel you are ready and it feels right. There is no rush in telling anyone. You've posed a potential question that she might ask. Maybe you could think about a few answers which will help you in thinking about why you want to come out to her. If you decide to come out to her, maybe try seeing her after class. In terms of how to say it to her, maybe you could start by saying (and only if this is truly the case) that you would like to talk to her about something personal because you trust her...and take it from there. But, before you say anything, try to find out what the rules of confidentiality are at you school. I remember one of the coming out articles on this site that deals in part with coming out to teachers. Maybe it would be better if you would talk to a counselor first, if your school has counseling services, because there your confidentiality is guaranteed. Hope this is of some help.
Thanks, you guys. It's just... I don't know, this random need came out of nowhere, lol. Literally all of a sudden I'm like "Oh! I should tell Mrs. B!" So I'm worried now that I'm an attention whore and that I want to come out to her so I can have attention because that's not the conscious reason I want to do it but what if that's in the subconscious? (ack, I'm confusing myself!) ~megan~
My only concern - other than the confidentiality thing - is that she'd misconstrue why you're telling her. In short, you don't want her to think you're hitting on her. This should be fairly easy to avoid if you choose your words correctly, though. Lex
Basically, it should be okay and much easier, since you know a lot about her, just you have to do it slowly and steadily.
On the question of confidentiality you might like to ask her if you can confide in her a personal secret that you wouldn't want told to anyone else. If you trust this teacher and she gives you her word there is no reason why she should break that *crosses her fingers and hopes* If she is the person you think she is, and if you feel the need to tell her then do so. Some talks about homosexuality in general might give you an idea if she is homophobic or open minded on the subject before you go leaping in. So what if a tiny part of you wants to tell her for attention, we all need attention, as long as this isn't your sole or main reason, I can't see that it matters. You say that you are out to 5 friends, maybe now you want to test coming out to the adults around you and you have chosen this teacher with whom you have a certain affinity to start with. She should be honoured that you trust her so much. Do whatever feels right to you but don't go rushing in either, if she is homophobic she might feel it her 'God given DUTY' to tell your parents or some other such rubbish, so test the waters first... Good luck
Lol, don't have to worry about that. She's told us all that she's Buddhist, but I'm pretty sure she was kidding. My friends and I all think she's agnostic.
I did the same thing, last year. It was even an English teacher as well. I was too nervous to tell her face-to-face ( I guess it didn't help that I had a crush on her daughter at that time), so I just wrote her a note. It explained a lot and she was really helpful, told me that if I ever needed to talk, that she was there for me. So, I think you should tell her. And if you're worried about her telling your parents, just ask her not to. Many teachers won't tell your parents stuff you tell them not to, unless its about hurting yourself or others, then it's kind of neccessary. She can't hurt your grades over it, or be prejudiced towards you, she could lose her job. I say go for it! Bonne chance!!
Perfect opportunity! We have to write an essay on our favourite teacher, and I don't want to be a suck up, but I'm going to write about her. After I turn it in, I'm just gonna ask if I can talk to her. I need you all- my heart starts pounding whenever I think about it. Be thinking of me; hopefully I can do it tomorrow! ~megan~
I already posted this in the Coming Out section, but I did it! She was fine with it, and she said she felt honoured that I could tell her. And she really is Buddhist. :icon_bigg ~megan~
