Confused and scared

Hi there :welcome: to EC ride:

What I found is you need to come out to yourself 1st before you can come out to anyone else, I sat down with myself & I re-evaluated my life, who am I attracted to, is it Guys or Girls, who do I find myself checking out?

Who do I feel I could be in a relationship with, a Guy or a Girl?

Who do I think about when I Masturbate, is it a Guy or a Girl?

If I watch Porn on the internet, is it Gay porn or Straight Porn?

Have I had any Gay encounters in the past?

What makes you think that you may not be Straight?

 

I wasn't sure either. But then I found the answer. I hope I can help you.

Do you have any fantasies about being with another person? If so, what are you doing and what is the gender of the person you are with?

 

You mentioned that you lean toward women but have sexual feelings [toward men (I'm
assuming that's what you mean)] also but not as powerful as those for women. You also mention that you think you're bisexual; however, the word "but" in there gives me the sense that either you're not sure or it may be possible that you think that bisexual is 50/50 attraction. Bisexual can be any precentage of attraction: 80/20, 90/10, etc.

---------- Post added 10th Aug 2013 at 01:07 PM ----------

but rest assured, your parents will love you no matter what and they'll be happy as long as you're happy. After all, parents are happy as long as their kids are happy. Also, your friends shouldn't look at you any differently. Friends are people that focus on who you are and not what you are.

 

Hi there and welcome to EC. You posted a comment on my initial post here and I want to respond to you. I can't give you advice because I don't have any answers, but I can tell you my own story. I don't know how old you are but when I was in high school (remember for me this was 25 yrs ago), I was having similar feelings. I really didn't want to be gay, I saw what happened to people in my school that came out as gay and I didn't want that. I was attracted to woman, but I also knew that I really liked looking at the guys in gym class as well. I dated woman and enjoyed it. I was a very confusing time for me as well. I dreamed about being with woman and men. Eventually I decided I was straight. I never did anything with a man and wrote it off. I dated and eventually married a woman. We had a child and life was good, except that I was starting to realize that she was not doing it for me. Finally we divorced and I am now coming to terms with the idea that I am gay.
My family is always saying negative things about gay people and I too am scared to tell them as they might look at me differently. So I am saying nothing to them. As a good friend said to me, once you say something, you can't put it back in the closet. Only you can decide when is a good time to tell people. Including your friends and family.

 

Hi there and welcome, I can't really give the best of advice as I'm currently in the same position as you.

What I can tell you though is what my mother, father and confidant as well as a few friends have told me, but primarily my what my father and confidant told me.

I recently made my dad ,as stupid as it may sound, it was completely in the moment and it gave my dad some vital insight towards why I'm so down and out and rarely get more than 5 hours of sleep, of course this isn't the only reason I losing sleep at night.

Now I'm combining advice and I hope some of it can help, but when I, in a sense "came out" to my parents I told all of them(I consider my confidant as a parent as well) was that I'm questioning myself sexuality and its starting to weigh heavily on me, as most of the time when I'm not doing something I tend to overthink and analyze myself, I keep trying to look for a definitive answer to this question over and over. I suggest you try not to do that as much as you possibly can as this will just mess your head up and make you somewhat angry.

Try and find a means to vent and preoccupy yourself in the short term to stop thinking about your sexuality so much, for me when I'm at work and I'm focused on work and I enjoy it(I'm mechanic by the way).

Don't allow the preconceived notions and stigmas to get to you, they are out dated and purely a means to label the gay community as a whole. I've learnt a lot about that in the past month and have actually had gay people use that against me recently, the "if you really gay you wouldn't be interested in cars etc". Live your life and be true to who you are, if you supposed to be gay, bi or any sexuality at all, always be true to who you are and don't let society change you as person and try and get you to fit a label, trust me its overrated.

Now the main thing I want to tell you cause I've made this mistake a few times is, find people who you can truly and whole heartedly trust, because this is a really shit going through this alone, whether it be family or family friend or a a really close friend you can talk too, also you have us here at EC:icon_bigg.

Try not to let this become the only thing you think about sexuality is only a small part of you as a person so be focused on you as person, your happiness, goals, dreams and so on.