Yes, another thread about my mom... So, for those who have actually been paying attention (probably no one LOL) You would know my sister is getting engaged to her online BF in october, and moving down there soon. The date has been set, she is moving next July. So my mom got a brilliant idea... "You have until next july to get a job, save up enough, and move out, I'm gonna put in for a 1 bedroom apartment at that time" (we live in a 4 bdroom atm). So... I have a little over a year to get a job, and save up enough money to pay for a deposit on an apartment, and then enough for the first months rent... While paying rent in the apartment we live in atm, and paying for food for me, her and my sisters? I'll have $20-30 a paycheck I can put away in savings after that. She's thinking unrealistically. While my sisters still live with us, I'll run out of money buying food for the house. We're already done to 1 meal a day because I can't get a job, but god, sometimes I just wanna scream -.- I explained it to her, and she said she'd consider asking for a 2 bedroom apartment, but that wasn't really the point. All my life she's put unrealistic expectations on me. My sisters were never honor roll, I was. They failed at playing instruments, I succeeded. Eventually I cracked and ended up almost dropping out. Then she started pressuring me about college, which I have no interest in, and now she won't stop bringing up I need a job. I've applied, and even got an interview, but apparently didn't get the job. Sorry... just needed to vent again... She's getting on my nerves -.- WAY too much is happening to me lately, I'm seriously about to crack even further >_<
(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Sorry I can't help you much as I don't know how the housing system works in America, but your mum should definately ask for a 2 bedroom apartement untill you are really independant and on your feet. Can your mum and sisters not help with the bills a bit? If you have finished school you need to get out there and apply for any and every vacancy you see. Even if is a job you don't particularly like or want it doesn't matter, you can keep it and bring in some money while you are looking for a better job. Could you look at seasonal jobs, lawn mowing, window washing, car washing, bussing tables, anything; I don't know what there is in your area but if your mum is putting the pressure on you you are going to have to get moving a bit. I know this seems harsh, and I do feel you mum is being hard on you but maybe she has her reasons, I don't know her so I won't critisize, I just want to try and give you some ideas that might help you out.
Well, I know you have had problems in the past but you are 19 and I think you at least should be partially responsible for yourself. I have to agree with Louise. Any job is better than no job. You don't have to go to college but you do need to find a job. Any job.
Do any of her religious friends at church have any job openings?!? jk! (sort of) Sometimes it's a matter of who you know. Which sucks when you don't know anyone that is hiring people. Having a connection or an 'in' is usually an advantage. Just keep trying though - something will come up. If you're not in school any more, and not going to college, then the next thing to do IS to get a job. I'm not sure why your mom wouldn't want to continue sharing the cost of living with you. Surely 1 two bedroom apartment is cheaper than 2 one bedroom apartments...
Actually, i have been looking for a job for a few years. However, the one place I've gotten an interview for is the one place I didn't want to apply at, but my mom/sister forced me to. They control EVERY SINGLE aspect of what you can do, I didn't go into some of the details in my post about the interview, I lose all individuality, which a job shouldn't do. It's the only job in town that does that. Actually... my mom does have connections at the local CostCo, who says I never applied there, when I know for a fact I did. So Either my mom's lying, or costco's application is broken. (it's online, even if you go into the store, they tell u to go home and do it online). Then my sister said she can get me a job at Mervyn's, which I will apply at after I'm over this stomach flu. My mom and sisters pay 1/3 of the rent together atm. However, I will have to pay 1/3 of the rent as well, as my mom cannot pay it. Due to my sisters income, the rent is extremely high (we could afford to rent a house if we wanted for the same income...), however, it's now at the maximum they can charge in the projects for a 4 bedroom apartment, so if I get a job, it wouldnt be effected. However, it would drain a large chunk of my income, and then my sisters refuse to buy food, so my mom has to buy it with the $20-30 she has left at the end of the month. So I would have to buy food, however, I'm quite tempted to keep notes on every single food item I have, and tell my mom to tell me when she eats something, and then charge my sisters for the rest that disappears magically. Anyways, like I said, I just needed to vent. My friend (who is a lesbian ) has expressed wanting to be my roommate when I get a steady job. However, I don't know the first thing about moving out on my own, paying bills and such. They never taught us in high school here. So even if I do, I'd be SoL. >_<
well you just have to learn how to pay bills and stuff (which comes with experience). I was forced out of my home they gave me 3 months to get out and I had never payed any bills or had to deal with any adult responsiblities but I learned fast, I had to, to make it. If you want to get out than determination will get you through it. Oh and I live on very little a month I do live on one meal a day and don't get anything I want or half of what I need but I know it will get better when I'm out of college and have a decent job. I wouldn't put up with her anymore if you really want a job then the people interviewing you will see how determined you are and will most likely hire you. Once you move out, you will wish you had done it sooner. Sam
You may not want to hear this but it does seem reasonable to me if you are not in school that you pay your share of the rent and food. What doesn't seem reasonable is if your sister is earning such good money why isn't she paying her share of the food bills... very strange, you might need to have it out with her. As for moving in with your friend, sounds like a good idea to me, all this keeping count of what you buy and what you eat would be absolute hell to do and to live with. Paying bills and becoming idependant are all parts of growing up and no, there are no lessons for this in school, this is real life but it really isn't very difficult, you might have some teething problems at first but that is to be expected, most people do, but if you are with your friend you should be able to muddle through together untill you get the hang of it.
Actually, Other then my room (lol), I'm quite an organized person, I keep track of a lot of little things most people wouldn't, so it wouldn't be much of a hassle for me. I would only do it w/ where I am now, not when I live with my friend, as we've already decided if we move in together, we'll be discussing everything like that beforehand. And there was a class in school about how to live on your own (it taught you how to handle bills, balance your checkbook, pay for utilities, and such), but they wouldn't let me in it for some reason, the counselors never gave me a reason about it -.- So, just added to the reason I hated the counselors at school >_> Then again, this is the same school that only allowed 30-40 students to do the local college placement test/orientation with them, which left the 250 or so other seniors who had intended to go with no idea what to do... lol I understand paying my fair share of rent =P I'm quite alright with that, will give me a more realistic sense of how much money I'd have for food/necessities throughout the month. My mom completely doesn't care if they don't pay for food, which I've never understood. They'll buy food maybe once a month, but they label it, one of my sisters let's me and mom use it, as she tends to buy actual food, that we can make into dinner, which then she eats as well, but the other sister is obsessive and if anyone touches her food, it turns into a 20 minute yelling session -.-. Yet she still says she has a right to eat the food my mom buys for me and her. She has a lot of financial problems, she's debating about filing for bankruptcy soon, which should explain a lot of that... lol... She bought 2 used cars, 3 radios, and 4 cell phones since she was 18, if that explains it :S
