Twice I've come out to a select few people. I've been very cautious of who I told this last time. The first time I was eighteen and it was completely dismissed after I reneged my coming out, and even then it was only to a few people. Each one is a potential leak of information and I put a great deal of thought into who I tell. Usually there must be a very good reason and its a mean to an end. I will not tell people just for the joy of coming out because that's reckless (for me, in my situation). Where I live gay people are tolerated by the older generations and more or less accepted by a certain part of the younger generation. As such, coming out to everyone is out of the question. There really is no reason anyway since I'm bisexual and don't have to date men. I don't have to worry about being seen with a gay man because I can date women. But, as I have posted elsewhere in the forums, I do develop crushes on men and thusly I would like to date one if I could find one worth dating. The problem is that I don't really feel comfortable dating people I don't know. At the very least I would like for them to be an acquaintance of a friend. For this to be possible I would have to come out to more of my friends for them to know to be looking on my behalf. What is the risk to extending my network and telling more friends? Is it really worth it or should I just try dating outside where I live? For what it's worth, there is an extremely attractive man working down the road in a shop, and I would love to get to know him, and he is in my hometown. I even have a friend who knows him, though she doesn't know that I know that she knows him lol. I would have to come out to her for her to be able to ask him to give her his number to give to me. I would absolutely never walk up to him in public and ask for it. Am I pushing my limits by even considering telling a few more friends so that they may help me out? My entire life has been lived as straight and if it ever leaked out that I wasn't I would lose so much. I know that the ones who love you, if they truly care about you, they're supposed to stick by your side no matter what. But some of them have it engrained in their brains that any sexuality aside from straight is one hundred percent wrong. My whole life could be turned upside down and I would constantly be afraid of being judged by those who know me or know who I am. I would also be afraid of any future female partner being scared away by my sexuality. So the risk, is it really worth it to try and ask more friends for help? Honestly, I'm afraid to even bring it back up with the ones that I have told because they might have forgotten by now. Its like a game to me, except serious, and I don't know how far to push coming out to further my experience with the same sex.
