Same story you have all heard. I am gay.. I have known and been fighting it since age 14.. Experienced failed marriage, have a child, absolutly petrified of letting others in..... Raised in a family that regularly uses terms like "faggot" and "queers" in a demeaning sort of way. Don't know how to come out.. Live in a small town that is not exactly supportive of my lifestyle.. Limited experience... Just don't know.. I don't know any other gay men.. Bottom line if I don't come out i'll be alone, If I do come out I'll be gay and alone... Go figure.. Well if you have some help I would appreciate it... I am very lonely.. TYVM
Congratulations for coming-out just then! - I bet your heart was pounding when you finally submitted your post. Every dealing with people in your life til now, has been as a straight man. To leave your comfort zone, is a massive step . I'm only 1 step further down the coming-out road from where you are right now. Last year, I started coming out to friends, as a 27yo. Now, pretty much all my friends know, plus a work colleague. (I still haven't told my the rest of my workplace or my parents). And this year, I've been to a gay bar twice. The first visit I felt totally out of my comfort zone. But the second time, I was better and I had a fun night just talking to some really nice, normal gay people - including a drag queen. (Yes, drag queens are nice & normal!) During the past year, I've been working on making peace with being gay. Little by little, I've been successfully tearing down some of the decades of negativity I feel towards gayness. I've met some well adjusted gay people which helps alot. It's shown me it's possible to be happy, successful AND gay. And I've found it so liberating to go to a gay bar and feel like I truly fit-in. (Actually, I didn't go to the gay bar and find some inner flamboyance. The fitting-in came from the feeling of being around people who just 'get it'.) The best advice I can offer you is borrowed from various posts from others that appeared this website: 1. Don't worry about coming out late. It's better late than never! 2. Being straight is NOT better than being gay. You're not alone... post here often!
It probably feels bad to start a little late but there are positive sides to it. At least you know you tried (some gay people tend to blame a bad situation on the fact that they're gay and have many "what if"'s in their minds - you won't), and you also have a kid. The biggest disadventage of being gay is the no kids issue and you put that behind you. Now you just have to start living your own life. About the coming out and venturing issue, I'm not sure what to say cause we're the same. I'll shut up and let you read everyone else's comments and hope you're less negative than I am and accept them! The people here are awesome and helpful, feel free to post anything.
