Although my friends and my parents know that I'm gay, my mom's side of the family does not. I really want to tell them, but my mom asked me not to, since they might not take it well. However, I passionately dislike being so hidden. I'm so bummed about having to skirt around the subject of girls, and any sort of lie (including omission of truth). So, this is what's going on: • I'm leaving for another state this week, away from all of my family. • I've been "dating" someone online, and will meet & officially confirm our status as a couple in September. • In October, I'm flying back down for my (straight) cousin's wedding, where all of my family will be. • I won't be back before December; maybe not until next summer. So here is some more crucial information to consider: • This family is very close, and we care for what happens in each others' lives. • Word spreads very fast (all but 3 of us [approx. 50 people] live in the same town). • My mom thinks they're generally homophobic, but I don't really think that's true. • If I did reveal my sexuality, I'm sure they would accept me because I'm family. • Nobody is out, although I do have suspicions, haha. I would have no problem telling everyone, but I don't want to disrespect my mother by going against her wishes. I don't want her to take any flack (if there is any), although that might happen regardless...? There are two reasonable possibilities that exist in my mind: a. If anyone asks if I found a girl/somebody, I'll tell them that I have a boyfriend. b. I send a text message to my closest cousin (the one being married) about it; whatever happens after that is up to him. I would send it after I am gone. Do y'all have any other ideas? Or are any of the above possibilities decent? Remember, I don't want to disrespect my mother! (let me know if any more information is necessary)
Well to be honest, if you do not want to disrespect your mother then keep it a secret. But if you really can't/don't want to then speak to your mum and tell her what you want to do. It is your decision after all.
You need to talk to your mom and explain to her just how important it is to you that you can be honest with your family, even if that means that you'll receive negative reactions for it. Explain to her that you're prepared and you'd really like it if she can support your decision. Though really, a lot of this hinges on how old you are, IMO.
