It finally comes down to this. I have no one I can talk to about any of this and I am so glad I found this site. I'm a female teen who has been questioning her sexuality for a little while now. I think I'm Bisexual? I have /no/ idea at all still but it's....I want to experiment I suppose but I have no one to reach out to or have no where to start. I find women attractive, but I'm still extremely attracted to men, but here's the catch. I've been born and raised Christian. Everywhere I turn everyone says it's completely wrong and that I'll go to hell but I've also been taught that the only sin that condemns you is denying God completely? I'm not saying /anything/ bad about anyone who isn't Christian or anything I'm just pointing out what I've been taught. But I'm just...terrified. My grandfather is so homophobic it's insane, saying stuff like I shouldn't even go to San Francisco cause there are gays there. I mean seriously?! But I'm getting off topic. My heart is seriously pounding just writing this and I'm near tears. I've recently been diagnosed with depression and I do suffer from anxiety attacks and I'm just freaking out cause I've been questioning my sexuality like crazy but I don't want to question my sexuality but I just...it's so FRUSTRATING. I'm terrified. So friggin' terrified. Why would I rather kiss a woman than a man, but why do I see my life with a man? Why would I rather be with a woman but can see myself happily married to a man? Someone, anyone, please help me. I'm just...this is the last place I can turn.
I don't think they will go to hell. I mean, yeah, I thought that when I was in like...sixth grade but not anymore. I've always been taught that Jesus loves everyone so why would people go to hell if he loves them? So in short, no, I don't think gay people will go to hell.
OK, well that's good. That's one less thing to worry about. So you're worried about your grandparents reactions (I can understand that one, I'm terrified of what mine will say...) how about your parents? Also, what worries you about questioning it personally?
My parents are....eh. I know my mom is sorta okay? I've talked to her about me shipping gay couples in TV shows and movies and stuff and she says that's just my generation, but I know my dad will have a horrible reaction. And what worries me is that I've always been so sure that I'm straight but in the expanse of the last half a year I've suddenly begun questioning that and I don't know where on earth it came from. I'm just...so uncertain.
That's similar to me (including the depression). If you don't have a problem with it then give yourself as much time as you need to explore it. I brought the same thing up with my therapist and asked what I should do about it and her response was basically "Why do anything?". She took the opinion that since I wasn't currently in a gay relationship it wasn't urgent that I let anyone know or even decide for myself. She said to just see where it goes. I don't know how good that advice is really but that's what she told me. I'm of the opinion that the worst you can do is to ignore it. If you explore it a bit (and I'm not suggesting you go out and get off with the first girl you see) you'll find your answer one way or another, then you can worry about other peoples reactions. I'm sure people who have dealt with it longer than me can be more help though
Thank you, seriously. You just made me realized that hopefully I can talk to my therapist about this but I need to figure out when I'm seeing her again.
I hope you have better luck with it than I did...took me about half an hour of talking about almost nothing before I could bring myself to mention it!
I think Ellia and his therapist had a point. If you are not comfortable talking about it and feel like your family would not be supportive, and you are not in a lesbian relationship, maybe for now it is best that you do not mention it. My mom took 4 years to accept me being gay, and I know that my grandma and some other family members would not be accepting. So I have decided to keep quiet about it to everyone in the family until I do find Mr. Right. My advice to you would be to follow your heart/gut, as corny as that sounds. I have heard people say that if you really do get so depressed that you think of hurting yourself, it is time to get it off of your chest and come out. Who knows? Maybe your family's minds about LGBT people will be changed by your coming out. If not, it is unfortunate, but their loss, as you seem like a nice person. Just make sure not to come out until you are ready and have come to terms with your sexuality. Best wishes.
I understand how you feel right now,I'm so confused abt myself as well I wanna tell my family,but idk it just feels to soon.
You need to worry less,stay calm. If they react badly... they will just learn with time that you are still the same person
(*hug*) Do you have any friends that you trust enough to talk to them about it? Sometimes talking helps. ...what?
This is actually some of the best advice I've seen. I normally phrase it as "take things at your own pace", but the principle holds - there is no rush to label yourself or come out - heck, it took me 33 years to do that! Exactly. If you ignore it, it's not going away. It will come back and bite you with a vengeance. Take it from someone with a Ph.D. in denial . It becomes harder and harder with time, as well, if that makes sense.
