Being "outed"

I've identified as straight for 30 years. In that time I have been sexually attracted to about three members of my sex. I have wondered for years what it would be like to kiss a girl, and a few other things.
One of the people I've been attracted to is my friend. We have been friends for seven years. I've liked her from the start. In the beginning there was some mutual flirtation, but I think she thought it was just for fun. For me, I meant it. I started to get the guts to tell her, or kiss her, and then she started dating someone before I could. I didn't care for, or trust the person she was seeing, but I didn't think it would last long. Only it did.
They moved away for a while, and then came back and we all hung out again. At the start of their relationship her gf kissed another girl. I was pissed. My friend deserved so much more than that. Then there were times I didn't like the way the gf talked to my friend or treated her. But all the time I kept my mouth shut.
This spring I knew things were going bad for them. In April my friend told me her gf had asked (or demanded) an open relationship which she agreed to to try to save their relationship. In May my friend found out her gf had been cheating on her for a year. Not long after that the gf broke up with my friend.
In June we were texting a lot, and some of it was flirty. I knew she wasn't in a place for more, but she started asking me questions about how I felt and I was honest. We went to Pride together, with some of her friends, and ended up talking and decided to fool around a little. After we got back to her place, and her friends left we went to her room.
It was pretty awkward for a while until she finally just kissed me. It was sooooo HOT! One thing lead to another and we had sex. I know this is going to sound REALLY DUMB, but I didn't know that what we did was sex. If I had done it with a guy I wouldn't have considered it to be sex. If I had realized what it meant I don't know if I would have done it. Regardless I liked it, a lot.
We continued on like that for a while. We had some ups and downs. I stated to question who I was and what my "sexuality" really was. It was hard because the person I would have gone to, her, was the person I was experiencing it with. We did talk a lot about my feelings and where I was, and what I was going through though. And we talked about her feelings and how she wasn't over the ex, etc.
We had a big argument at the end of July. Something really shitty happened with my family and I really needed her to be there for me. As my friend, and as the person I was sleeping with. She told me she had already made plans to see the ex but she would come by after. I told her not to bother. I wasn't going to take her "leftover" time. We didn't talk much for a could of weeks.
On July 26 we saw each other again. I'll be honest, I was kind of cold. I was hurt. We talked about things, I told her what happened with my family, etc. We ended up watching a movie. My body language was closed off, I didn't sit very close to her and I avoided all physical contact. Towards the end of them movie she pulled me into her arms. I remained rigid. But I couldn't stay upset with her and one thing led to another. That time, things went further than they ever had before. That time I KNEW it was sex. It was something I never though I would do with a woman.
That Sunday she came up to see me. We had two very long talks and decided to end the fooling around part of our relationship and try to be friends again. It's not what I wanted but she did. All last week she said she needed space, which I gave her.
Last night she said we needed to talk about us again. I told her I didn't think there was anything left to say. She said there was something she wanted me to know, so we made plans to meet today and talk.
She didn't give me a hug when I saw her, which is weird. We've always hugged. Anyway she say a good distance from me on the park bench. We sat in awkward silence for a long time. Then we talked about our day a little, then sat in awkward silence again.
Finally she told me that last Monday, a week ago, the day AFTER she ended things, she told her ex about us. She said she felt like she was lying to her ex, and she didn't want anything between them.
I was pissed and hurt. I know her ex. We know some of the same people. I do not, and never have trusted her ex. If she wanted to do some damage she could, and I'm not sure that I put it past her. I don't get it. It is her EX. It is none of her business who she is sleeping with. IF my friend hadn't just ended things I *might* feel differently about it. But why wait until she ended them to out me? She never asked me if it was okay, or how I felt, or even had the decency to give me a heads up. Then she waited a full week to tell me that her ex knew.
It's not that I care if people know that I like women. If fact I want to move more in that direction. But she took my voice, my choice to tell people -- how, when, and who -- away from me. She should know how it feels to go through these feelings and how it feels to try to figure all this out and who you want to know, and who you don't.
Am I being overly sensitive? Do I have a right to be angry? I feel like all my trust in her has been shatter and she really betrayed me. I really need some outsiders advice here.

 

I let her know that I was upset with her. I didn't say much when she told me for fear of saying something that could never be taken back. I love her very much, as my friend. I am not IN love with her. I know she hasn't moved and and we have talked about that. I told her yesterday that this person is her EX. Meaning she no longer has a need to know what is going on in my friend's life. I think my biggest problems with it are a.) She waited until AFTER she ended things with me to tell her ex. b.) She waited an entire week to tell me that she told her ex. I feel very betrayed by her.