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Mom wants me to stay in the closet

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GayTornado, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. GayTornado

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    Hello everyone, I'm having a bit of a dilemma here and I am wondering if you could give me some advice.

    I'm out to my mom and 5 friends (I really need to update my profile :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) and my mom is telling me to not tell anyone else. She hasn't said why she wants me to 'stay in' but I'm pretty sure so I don't get teased, picked on, etc. I'm not planning to come out to any more people but yeah.

    Any advice at all?
     
  2. Adi

    Adi
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    What's your dilemma exactly?
     
  3. Holly

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    Honestly, I would do what YOU want to do. It is your sexuality, and you have the right to tell who you want. She may be saying this because she's not 100% comfortable with the idea of you being gay and needs time to adjust.

    My mum said the same thing when I came out to her - she doesn't want me to 'announce' it to my extended family and family friends, but she made it clear it wasn't because she was ashamed of me, just that she needed time to adjust.

    Ultimately, if the conversation comes up, I am telling my wider family, but I don't have an urge in the first place to tell anyone else right now, all my friends know, and my parents, and that's fine for me now.

    I'd give her some time, I think she just needs to get her head around it all first. But ultimately, if you want to tell people, tell them.
     
  4. ToxicRat

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    I had a similar issue, where my mother didn't want me to come out at school because she thought I would get bullied. I ignored her and came out anyway, and had very little trouble. At the end of the day, it is up to you, and what you would rather do.
     
  5. Munyal

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    I agree with the above posts and would like to add that most people will react more positively than she expects.
     
  6. RainbowMan

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    I'll add my +1 for if you want to tell whomever you want to. In the end, this is your life, not your Mom's.You have to live how YOU want to, and if that's not fully out, then so be it. OTOH, if you do want to be fully out, then that's your choice as well.
     
  7. Lunarchy

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    Well, isn't this a coincidence, I just finished posting on a post that was essentially the same story, only it was the mother posting. As hard as it is to be gay today, it's still the best time in history. It wasn't too long ago that being gay wasn't tolerated at all, by anybody, and a lot of people are still living in those older generations. You're mother might just be living in a time when being gay meant your life was ruined, the fact that she doesn't want you to come out might just be her worrying about you, not her being ashamed of you, but don't let yourself live in fear. Live your life the way you want to, because for all we know, you only get one ^)^
     
  8. WhiteShadows

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    In my highschool, people seemed to have a really positive view on some of the younger gay people. People usually were very positive about how such nice people the openly gay kids were. I'm not sure what it's like in your school though :/
    What's the out situation as it stands?