Okay so i'm not 100% certain but i'm pretty sure that i'm bi. So my question to you is, is there any point of coming out as bi? Do bi people usually come out or do they wait until they have a serious homosexual relationship? Also what's really the point of coming out bi? I mean if someone were to ask me if I was gay and I said no it's not like i'm lying to them. Or is it typically on an "ask my orientation and i'll tell you" kind of thing. Also i'm hetro-romantic homosexual/bisexual(know my romantic orientation but not sexual orientation). So is there really a point of coming out as bi? Especially when i'm only 17? Thanks!
It's more to do with being yourself. Imagine if you saw a really hot guy in the street or on TV, do you think you would want to turn to one of your female friends and point him out to her? I'm sure the process of coming out as bi is a little different to coming out as gay, and it's entirely up to you whether you choose to come out or not, but the reason that people do it anyway is that they don't want to lie to the people around them. They want their friends to know something which forms such a large part of their lives instead of having to keep it to themselves. But at the end of the day it's your choice! I hope this helps.
I totally agree with LinkLarkin on this one. I would honestly say, do what you think will make you happy in the long run. Whether that means coming out or not, its your sexuality and only you can determine whether you want to come out or not.
My reasons for coming out as bi': First, being honest with myself and my family. Second, I didn't want my parents and friends to find out from somebody else that I was in the Pride parade and the GSA at school. Third, I just feel so much freedom to be me without apology.
I agree with what everyone else is sayin but let me elaborate for a moment. Lets say that you never told anyone about your attraction to both sexes, and imagine you fell head over heel for a woman. A few years latter you marry said woman...... Now fast forward 10 or 15yrs. You meet a guy and your feelings are so strong for him both sexually and emotionally, now you have a bombshell to drop on everyone in your life. Only now you have kids, in-laws, friends that belong to both you and your wife. Now where do you turn? You never told anyone, now you have to do some big reveal to the world. My advice is, be true to who you are be happy and above all dont repeat what I did. (which is all of the above). Just as a foot note I always new I was BI but the older I got the "gayer" I I became.. Thats if "gayer is even a word...
Honestly, there is no requirement for you to come out, it's your choice. But in my mind, coming out means you can be yourself, and if you don't, you may be forced to hide part of your attraction, and that is hard as time goes on. Then again, some people are happy being in the closet. Just do what you want to do. If you feel like you need to come out because it will be beneficial to you (for me, my confidence and friendships grew massively), then go for it. There is no need to hide yourself, just because you are bisexual. It is a legit sexuality, and although some people may not 100% understand it, you have every right to come out like gay people do.
There are benefits to coming out. It could help you find a boyfriend more easily. You may feel better about yourself (or not). Something about telling who I have had made some of us closer, pushed some of us apart, and it has also had a neutral affect. It truly is about what you want and what's safe for you to do. Sometimes it's better to wait so that you can build a safety net.
Thanks for the replies. My main point though is that i'm hetero-romantic so I can't see myself dating a guy. It's only sexual attraction. So really if i'm never going to date a guy, there doesn't seem to be a logical sense of coming out as bisexual. I get that there's this idea that if you're not out you're hiding your true feelings. I do this anyways with men and women. I tend to keep that side of my life private. I don't really prance around the street flirting with girls or anything like that.
OP, you're 17. The idea of dating the opposite sex is ingrained in virtually every culture in the world. When you come more to terms with your attraction to guys, you might feel more comfortable with the idea of dating another guy. I know it took me a while. You've also so far implied that you're not very sexually interested in girls, which would make having a romantic relationship with one not very probable.
No, you turning around and telling yourself you are definitely UNQUESTIONABLY straight would be lying. Not coming out is fine as long as it works for you. If there's no pressure to come out and hiding it isn't hurting you in any way then you don't HAVE to. The point I think people are trying to make is that as long as you are honest with YOURSELF, when you decide to let other people know doesn't matter as much.
