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I want to come out to two friends tomorrow, I can do this but I NEED A PEP TALK!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rachael222, Aug 16, 2013.

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  1. Rachael222

    Rachael222
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    I literally just decided right there now. I'm going for a walk with two of my friends tomorrow, and they're my main friends at university.

    I'd always said that this summer I was going to do it, so this seems like a good opportunity, don't you think?

    Only problem is I AM SO SCARED. Like part of me is excited, but the other part of me wants to curl up in a ball and go to sleep?

    I'm worried that once I do, I'm going to trigger off a bout of anxiety (I get these pretty bad) and be non-functional for several weeks. This has been stopping me for ages, and it's gotta end some time.

    Anyone have any ideas on how to bring it up/what to say? For some reason I'm worried this is a mistake and I'm actually bi, even when I know I like women more. Men are attractive, but I'd always want a women more. I think the term gay describes me best, and so that's what I plan on using. I feel like I'm so much more gay than bi, and so coming out as bi doesn't sit so well with me, as I don't want to end up stepping on stepping stones. Again, I know labels aren't the be all and end all, but I think they'll be useful when explaining to people without much experience in the field.

    Thanks
     
    #1 Rachael222, Aug 16, 2013
  2. GayNerd

    GayNerd
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    What you should do is not to tell them right away. Wait a few minutes. This way, you could start a different conversation. Then, when it's the right moment, say "Hey, there's something that's been on my mind for a while. I wasn't sure then, but now I know that I'm Gay." this way, it won't seem like you've been hiding anything from them. Get ready for questions like "How long have you known?", "Have you told anyone else?", and "Are you sure you are?". There are more questions, but these are just to give you an idea. This is just some advice that I think may be helpful.

    You need to tell them. What I suggest is that if you have to, stop walking and sit down to tell them. They will be shocked, unless they already knew. When you tell them, there could be mixed emotions. But no matter what, take a deep breath, and say it. You will feel so much better.

    I can't wait for your coming out story.
     
    #2 GayNerd, Aug 16, 2013
  3. wittyusername

    wittyusername
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    ^ That's great advice. I'm sure they'll be shocked at first, but they should get over that. And it seems like a good time to tell them. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes!! :slight_smile:
     
    #3 wittyusername, Aug 16, 2013
  4. RainbowMan

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    Good luck, I can't say much more that hasn't already been.

    Coming out is an anxiety-inducing event - leading up to it. However, once you've done it, I'm certain that you'll find that it's liberating.

    This is your life - get on living it how you want to :slight_smile:
     
    #4 RainbowMan, Aug 16, 2013
  5. sharkpool

    sharkpool
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    Hey! You are very brave for doing this.
    I feel the same way as you. I know i like girls, but sometimes ( very few ) i like boys. I decided to come out as gay. And so far all of my friends have been supportive :slight_smile:
    Good luck!
     
    #5 sharkpool, Aug 16, 2013
  6. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    [​IMG]
    YOU CAN DO IT! :wink:
     
    #6 Menaki-Neko, Aug 16, 2013
  7. Rachael222

    Rachael222
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    Who wants an UPDATE??!

    I did it!!!! Ahhhh!!! Largely down to all your advice and also to pep talk puppy.

    I honestly thought I wasn't going to, one of them didn't turn up so it was just me and my one friend, probably one of my closest. I thought I was going to pass out my heart was going so fast, but I managed to spit it out and she was really really good about it.

    I was able to tell her everything upfront, how I would probably call myself gay even if I did ooccassionally have romatic feelings towards men, because I didn't think I could see myself with one in a life-partner type relationship. However I also said it was a grey area and so if I was to theoretically to fall for a guy at some point down the line then I wouldn't stop myself from being happy and I hoped she would understand which I think she did!!

    I feel weird now. I feel like I'm in some kind of hallucination. Like shit just got real kinda. Like I can actually start exploring this side of myself worry-free. I know everyone probably won't react as well as her, but I think I know now that the people who matter will be there for me and that's all that's important (oh no I've turned into a big sop).

    Just thought I'd let you know how I got on, big love x
     
    #7 Rachael222, Aug 17, 2013
  8. GayNerd

    GayNerd
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    I'm glad to hear everything went good. Congratulations!
     
    #8 GayNerd, Aug 17, 2013
  9. GArchi1992

    GArchi1992
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    Woooo Congratulations that's brilliant. It's such a strange feeling isn't it but at the same time it's awesome! So happy for you! :grin:
     
    #9 GArchi1992, Aug 17, 2013
  10. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Congratulations on taking the step! Fantastic that it went well. :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Mirko, Aug 17, 2013
  11. wittyusername

    wittyusername
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    That's great!! Congratulations!! (!) (!!) (!)
     
    #11 wittyusername, Aug 17, 2013
  12. RainbowMan

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    Good to hear, I told ya it'd be liberating :slight_smile:
     
    #12 RainbowMan, Aug 17, 2013
  13. BooksJeansTea

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    Congratulations! (!)
     
    #13 BooksJeansTea, Aug 17, 2013
  14. Menaki-Neko

    Menaki-Neko
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    FINALLY! Pep talk puppy finally does some good rather than creeping everybody out! :slight_smile:
     
    #14 Menaki-Neko, Aug 17, 2013
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