So I was out with my friends (male) the other night in town, at a bar.. I was a little bored, so I started checking out some guys on my phone... One of my friends noticed and somehow knew exactly what I was doing... I don't mind, because I'm at the point now where really it just hasn't come up in conversation and that's the only reason I'm not out.. but, he's not the first person I'd tell and I dont want him telling anyone else. I kinda just freaked out and didnt say anything when he asked me why I was on ********* I spoke to him on facebook the day after and he didn't mention it, so I *think* he forgot... but I really have no idea? Do I ask him in case he remembered? Or leave it in case he forgot? We had a fair few drinks over the course of the evening, but he wasn't really drunk from what I could tell. In the past how have your requests to people to keep their mouth shut with things like this gone? I've known him forever, we're very similar people, but there's never been any real deep bond between us in terms of trust/etc.
I've only come out to work friends, since I have very few friends anymore who aren't actually my wife's friends. (Something I look forward to changing eventually!) But the last person I told was pretty much by accident, and I did ask her not to broadcast it. She was very understanding, and fortunately is the kind of person who really keeps a secret well--probably one of the reasons my guard was down enough to let it slip in the first place. But I find that the more I accept it, the harder it is to even remember why I want to keep it a secret in the first place.
Hi there! I haven't been in a situation such as yours but I'd say just let it be for now. If it seems that he forgot or it wasn't a big deal overall, I wouldn't broach the subject for now. If it would have been a big deal to him, or if he felt he wanted to quiz you more about it, I'm sure he would have done that during the facebook chat, or right after he saw you being on the site. The incident might be a good opportunity for you (and for him) to start building a relationship build on a deeper level of mutual trust. In some ways, you have an opening to come out to him at some point in the future. In the meantime, you could strengthen your friendship so that it will allow you to be yourself around as well.
Well I asked if he remembered much of friday night, he said "as far as Im concerned I didnt see anything" .. which is because on friday night I said "you didn't see that!" So I was just honest about it all. He didn't reply after that.. Then he did everything is fine
Excellent! He "didn't see anything" so your secret would appear safe! I cherish people who can keep a secret. It demonstrates self-control, patients, and a well ordered priority list. Those people put you and your secret WAY above any gossip or street cred they would earn for spilling the beans. Yay! That's really good news man!
