I know now that I'm probably 60Gay 40straight, but do you guys have good gaydar? I need help with a friend.(I'm still deep in the closet though, still figuring stuff out) He's had girlfriends, but he usually throws his relationships away by just severing all ties. He does notice women, but usually only the same ones/amount of time I do, which isn't too often. There have already been a few occasions in which he told me "I can't picture my self having sex with woman", and "I think I make a good gay because I share many of those. . uh. . .attributes". He is also very into art and poetry like me, and if it helps, he is the 4th of three bothers(I don't know how true the brother phenomenon in relation to being gay is). He's also really pro-gay rights(Yet more conservative on other stuff). We're really good friends, and are going to be living together next year. He usually acts straight, like me, but there's times it seems questionable(Except for the jokes, man-hugs, etc.). I don't know what to think, and it's been bothering me. It'd be cool if he was somewhat gay, then I could come out to him, and we could deal with this together(Idk about a relationship, though). But, yeah, I just don't know what to think. We both also have a lot of personal issues we both share.
OK, so it sounds to me that he's bi. You're saying that he supports gay rights. That doesn't mean a f***ing thing. But saying he can't imagine having sex with a girl. That is a big indicator that he is at least bi, if not gay. I've looked at girls and all that crap before. It could be that he is just using looking at girls as a cover for being gay. But like I said, he is probably bi, if not gay.
Whenever I see a post like this, my response is the same. "You're right next to him, and you can't tell. I'm a thousand miles away, and all I have to go on is what you've told me - which no doubt is probably not a totally unbiased opinion. In short, how the heck should I know?" Best bet - let him know that YOU're bisexual, or at least grappling with your sexuality. He'll be a lot more willing to talk about his sexuality if he knows you're not keeping secrets from him. Lex
Yeah, you should better do that. Or else, you might be second-guessing your life out (again!) Like what Lex said.
Well, I really don't see why you wouldnt want to come out to him. I know its hard, but I mean, you know he supports gay rights, so hes obviously okay with it. maybe just bite the bullet...
OK so you are a bit unsure as to what to do. If you don't want to come out to him yet and want to be absolutely sure maybe what you could do is to talk to him about sexuality in a general way during a conversation and see what he has more to say, though being pro gay rights pretty much says it what his reaction might be or will be. If you feel comfortable with his answers and you think you can trust him (in case he doesn't turn out to be bi or gay) then go ahead and tell him. But it is possible, as mentioned above, that he is also questioning his sexuality and that he might also be looking for someone to confide in and have someone to talk to. Hope this is of some help. Good Luck!
It sounds like it would be pretty safe to come out to him. You share a lot of perspectives, so what's the harm? Plus - if you're going to be living with him next year, whether he's gay / bi or not, it will be WAY easier on you if you can be honest with him about your orientation. So you don't need to be hiding who you're chatting with (or what kind of web sites you're visiting...:icon_wink ) while you're living together. And best case, he'll come out to you at the same time, and that will be that. Good luck!
