College application wants to out me.

If they ask I would just be honest and say "I don't think they should be asking that question on an application and it would be wrong of me to answer".

 

Not sure how college applications in the US work, but can you contact the school to explain your situation?

 

Why are they asking about your sexual orientation? Is it a sort of affirmative action thing? If so, just answer "yes", and if your parens ask, tell them you answered that way to have a better shot at getting in.

 

Tough situation, but lying is not the way to go. I think that the way you chose is a good way to go, or you could also contact the school. By any chance would you be able to be say the school's name? Or PM it, but I'm starting to look at colleges so i'd like to know about any gay-friendly schools.

Best of luck

 

It's like ethnicity, level of education, and income bracket on surveys. They begrudgingly have "decline to answer" as an option. I decline to answer those questions.

Schools don't need a population count on sexual orientation. They somehow know their demographics and only need to address diversity in general terms in their literature, or by referring to a large number of GLBT friendly organizations on campus. Either way, American now knows which are GLBT friendly schools, and which aren't. It's on most people's homepages at least once a month. They don't need to proclaim that 3,276 out of the student body of 14,938 is GLBT. What's next? A pie chart of preferred sexual positions for that hypothetical 3,276?

 

That's...pretty disturbing. I don't know why they'd assume that everyone has come out already or something.. If you're still dependent on your parents, I would recommend selecting No. If you don't think they'd see it, just say you'd prefer not to answer, but know that it's the same thing as saying Yes... If I were you, I'd call up to that damn college and let them know how ridiculous of a question that is. I don't give a damn if they're trying to be diverse or not, they have to take into consideration that not everyone can answer a question like that at that stage of their lives. I would call the school and see if they can send you an application that doesn't include that question or maybe confide in a counselor there that you are gay and you're not ready to let your parents know that.

 

I agree. I'm sure they've seen "decline to state," or even seen it left blank, and it wasn't weighed in the admissions decision. They already know it's a loaded question of sorts.

I hope this is NOT a public American university. I couldn't imagine that.

 

Wouldn't the bolded be quite important in a survey for statistical purposes? Survey's are usually anonymous, and even if they weren't, why would one not answer those questions? Shame?

Come on. This reminds me of those people who scream "why don't gays just keep it to themselves?" whenever a celebrity comes out. Stating one's sexual orientation is not the same thing as stating what sexual positions one likes in the bedroom.

---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2013 at 06:02 PM ----------

I still say you should go with the "I'm pretending to be gay to get into college" thing. It seems practical to lie about something like that on a college application thingy. (or don't people do that in America? :S)

 

I don't know if this would work... But does the system let you enter the application, and allow you to go back and make changes later before submitting? That is, could I fill it out Monday, and review Tuesday before clicking "submit?" If so, you could select "no" and have your parents look it over. That way, there will be zero discussion about "I don't want to answer." Then get rid of them, and change the answer to either "I don't want to answer" or "yes" and hit "submit."

Another thought: is it possible to arrange to run this application through, and "forget" to show it? (I assume you've thought of this, but one never knows.)

You might get in contact with the college. They might not be able to modify the application system, but they might have preferred way of dealing with it. If nothing else, they really should know--if they don't already--that this question can cause a huge amount of trouble.

---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2013 at 08:08 AM ----------

You can do a wall post. Click on the user name on the left, and select "View Public Profile" in the menu that shows up.

The profile includes the wall.

I'm not 100% sure of this, but I THINK the wall posts should not appear on a Google search. The profiles require you to be a logged in user to access.

 

It's not that. The OP is, what, 17 or 18. She's under stress. She's filling out various applications. She's trying to make a major decision.

Clearly, it's for marketing purposes or for specific needs. If you answer those questions on surveys such as income or education, then you get a barrage of literature aimed at your demographic. Maybe, in college, she'll get a knock on her door saying "Hey, we got a list of students' sexual preferences, would you like to join our club?" I mean, that's NOT likely going to happen. It might come via a generic e-mail. Freshman year is a time to absorb the landscape and figure out what extracurricular stuff interests you. She's probably a smart young lady and can determine that on her own.

I bring this up because one of my college friends has a daughter who started college last year at an all-women school and was already hit with culture shock. It's supposed to be a liberal school, and she has encountered resistance on a more Republican bent. If it's liberal, nobody should be telling her where to land on various continua. Reading some of the student comments on sites found on the internet confirm some of these assessments.

I ultimately learned that, for me, the ideal university contains at least 25,000 students, has people from all over the world, has all religions and non-religious people, has liberals, conservatives, and everything in between, and is located in an area that has much the same demographic makeup. But, we've all got our criteria.

---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2013 at 08:19 AM ----------

Yeah, if not from students' calls, then from parents' calls. LOL.

 

No idea about the software that's used for college applications. But I will say that I despise a lot of the computer forms I've had to deal with because they are so rigid and force limited range of answers. And will hold you at gunpoint until every question is answered, and answered a way it wants.

One thing that was nice about paper: it doesn't club you to death when you answer truthfully, but give an answer the system can't deal with...

 

It's for statistical purposes and it's for grants/scholarship ability I'm sure, but it's still very inappropriate for people who aren't ready to address their sexuality to others yet. It's an insensitive approach to our sexuality, as if it can be titled a "perspective".. Doesn't really apply to their explanation as to why they need it. Doesn't tell you much about a person's background. Hmm.. anyways. I just think things that aren't evident when they meet you shouldn't be asked. I mean, I guess they could figure you're gay by mannerisms or speech, but it still wouldn't be appropriate. If it's not okay for employers to ask you in this country, it shouldn't be ok to include it on a college application because for all you know, it COULD determine whether you get in or not. The thought crosses my mind every time I say i'm black on an application. Does that mean you're going to be hiring me to diversify your company because you think it's better? Or are you doing it out of some company goal or satisfaction.. Am I not the most qualified person and you're giving me the job anyway? We're all people and I normally don't like being classified in any way, especially here in the south.

 

They didn't ask point-blank like that, but it was on my housing sign-up that they asked open-ended, "What is your sexual orientation?"

Since my boyfriend and I intended to be roommates, we both answered straight. Well, they did assign us together, and that's why we're not telling people that we're actually a couple.

 

There was a list of the least gay friendly colleges I recently saw. On that list were Wheaton, BYU, and Notre Dame. The others didn't push back on that to refute that claim, but Notre Dame did. There were more religious ones, but I don't remember.

For gay friendly, the list was fairly standard: NYU, Sarah Lawrence, Wisconsin, Berkeley, Smith, Mount Holyoke, New College in Florida, and a smattering of small liberal arts colleges in the Northeast and Midwest.