So a while ago I was dumped by my boyfriend. But more than that he used me and then said he just wanted to be friends. I was sore with him for a while but I eventually forgave him. After talking with him as just friends I learned a lot about him that I didn't before. I found out that he broke up with me because he wasn't sure what he wants in a relationship. He always seems to want one thing one day and then the next want something completely different. And when he is "in the mood" he will say almost anything to get sexual satisfaction. However he is also a kind funny person who would never purposefully toy with someone's emotions. He just tends to get in the mood say some stupid shit and not fully remember what he did. Last night he calls me up and asks me if i want to hang out. I agree and we are hanging out at his house when he starts talking to me about the break up. One thing lead to another and he is in tears about what an awful mistake he made. I wasn't quick to forgive him by any means. But I still have a lot of feelings for him and I do care deeply about him. I thought about it and told him that if he truly wants me back he will have to regain the trust he lost and prove himself. The one thing that I worry about was that this was just another one of his uncontrollable outbursts for sexual satisfaction and he didn't really mean anything that he said. I told him that he is going to have to ask me out when I see him on tuesday at the youth center that we both go to, so hopefully that way i can guarantee that he will be thinking clearly and will have time to think it over and make sure that this is what he truly wants. I don't know If I should even take him back after what he did, but I really like and care for him. I don't know should I give him the second chance or just break it off now and move on? :help:
You're obviously wary of the way he works but what have you to lose by giving him a second chance? If you were giving him a fourth or fifth chance I'd question your judgement but seeing that you're clearly still fond of him, I'd say go for it. However, you should impose some ground rules and see how he feel about that. Also, be careful he's not using you as an easy way to get sex. Good luck.
If he really likes you - not just like you in the sack - he should be willing to hook back up without sex for awhile. See how he takes to that idea. Lex
My experience has been that people who are like this—usually nice but then tend not to really acknowledge or accept they can be total assholes—do not really change over time. Maybe a lot of time where some serious maturing has gone (I mean YEARS, not months or weeks) but otherwise their selfishness tends to stay in full force and any apologies you get from them are motivated by their desire to get something for themselves (i.e. sex) or their need to believe they are "good people" and thus avoid acknowledging that they aren't always the nicest folk. Not that everyone knows exactly what they want out of life or relationships but you want someone who has enough of an idea that they don't dump you because they're "confused." Being somewhat confused is fine but dumping someone is a very extreme move. So I would be pretty wary of him unless there's some pretty compelling evidence he's changed dramatically.
