I feel ready to come out to my mum now. My dad is pretty prejudiced, and I don't feel comfortable telling him yet. I only see my mum every month so if I don't tell her on Sunday then I've missed out on the chance for a few weeks. I'm pretty sure she'll be fine with it, but it doesn't make it any easier.I've never actually said out loud 'I'm gay' or 'I'm a lesbian'. I don't know HOW to say it. I know that if I don't know exactly what I'm going to say, then I'll just choke up and end up not talking at all. Please help me! cry:
I came out to my mum recently, and in my mind I didn't do it very well. I'm proud of who I am, don't get me wrong, but to me the idea of telling my mum terrified me. Alas, I had chosen that day to do it. What happened? I broke down to her and spluttered it out. Of course, my sexuality has always been an emotional thing to me, but ultimately I think it's lead to her thinking in my mind its a bad thing, when actually I'm beyond proud of it. That's just an anecdote for in my mind, what not to do. Ultimately, I think there is no sure fire way to tell someone, especially someone who is such a prominent person in my life. Generally something like 'I have something to tell you' is a good way to get them prepared, but it does also panic them that it is something perhaps majorly bad. It's up to you. I felt it helped me get to grips with what I was about to say. Good luck to you I hope it all goes well!
when i came out to my mum, it was after we had a long discussion about marriage, depression, culture, and other big topics like that. so i linked it in by saying - mum, if i was to get married to someone, well then that person would be....................a man. when i said 'a man' i felt her squeeze my hand! it's hard to say 'i'm gay', so you can always word it differently. make sure you are clear still. eventually, like myself, you'll get used to the idea of proclaiming with pride that you are gay! ride:
Thanks for the advice. I guess I need to think about which way would be easiest for me to word it. Hopefully I can get the words out.... :/
Ultimately, that's the hardest bit. I definitely felt like it was a mammoth thing to say to my mum, but it did feel like a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders. I hope it goes well for you
Yeah, I thinking the actual physical act of telling someone is hard. I would suggest to bring it up casually, but still be serious enough... if that makes any sense haha. You could also slip her a note or give her a letter. I personally came out to my mother in a letter. That was easier for me, since at the time I came out I wasn't ready to just blurt it out to her. Which ever way you do it though, I wish you the best of luck.
Thanks. I think I'm going to try actually saying it rather than writing it, seeing as it's more personal and I think my mum would appreciate it more because she knows how hard it is for me to talk about things. It only just occurred to me that she's quite religious. I still don't think she'll mind but it complicates things because she always wanted me to join the church but my dad never bothered (I live with my dad) I think I know how she'll react but I don't know how she'll actually feel about it. I get my ability to hide emotions from her…
I know you said you don;t want to write it down, but could you just get a little piece of paper and write 'I'm gay' as a back up? Just incase you have a panic (I know when I panic I end up not being able to physically talk). Hope it goes well xxx
