Deep down I really want to tell me parents that I'm gay, but no matter how much I try, I cannot bring myself to do it. I feel like every day I don't tell them, I'm wasting another day of my life, a day that I could be living openly. They are not at all homophobic (my mum has a gay brother) and I think that they have probably already worked it out. The problem is that I have built it up in my head to be something really scary. I also hate unpredictable situations. Change scares me the most. How the dynamics between me and my parents will change and how they see me as a son. I don't think I could bare that extremely awkward moment when I tell them. I'm 20 now and I don't want to be 40 and in the same position. Years of regrets. I know that there are some older people in the closet, but that's a generation thing. Today I should be able to come out, no problem. Any advice would be appreciated, I think I need a little bit of a push and reassurance. :icon_sad:
The Same question come in my head every day will I ever tell them and risk them disowning me because of old fashioned beliefs. The world is so unfair sometimes unfortunately. Still thats not to say you won't or should not tell your parents maybe your parents will be less ignorant then mine. To add it your call when to do so as well take your time and do it when you feel ready never just do something before your ready usually ends up worst then if you was ready.
Well first off (*hug*) it's completely understandable that your scared even if your parents are accepting of it. So you're not alone with feeling this way no one can really say when is a good time to come out and I truly believe that you'll know when you want to tell them. it's scary but we are all here for you if you need us. Maybe make it a little easier for yourself but slowly breaking it to them remind them how much you know they want you to be happy (like most parents want their child to be) and than go onto to tell them you don't have a problem with who you are today <3 etc and that tell them your gay. Honestly they may be in shock but it's OKAY it's completely normal and it may take a little bit of time for them to get it, but I think it's worth it and you'll feel better when you do. Whenever you wish to tell them or how is up to you though! Just know that we support you.
Let's make a plan then, with timelines and deliverables. I'm not kidding, action only comes if you imagine that you need to do it today. You need to feel just how confining it is to still be in that bloody closet. Meditate on exactly what it is that constrains you by not being out. If you feel that sufficiently deeply, you may find that the alternative: coming out, is the far lesser of two uncomfortable situations. Finally, coming out will only need to happen once. Being in the closet can turn into a chronic condition! So: How shall we proceed then? What is your deadline?
Love your responses and the different approaches, thanks. My deadline is definitely before I turn 21. I want to live each day after that being completely myself with confidence. It's so true that coming out is probably the lesser of two evils. It's just how to I approach it. I don't think I can do the whole generic 'I have something to tell you...I'm gay'.
Why not go generic? Methinks you are perhaps overestimating the importance of this event, and that perhaps you want to find the words that match its perceived importance. Fact is. however, that in this case, simple really is best, and starting with "I'm gay" is better than a long pre-amble. The long post-amble will more than make up for it...
I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I think it's definitely a good idea to set yourself a deadline. When the time comes try not to over think it too much, because you'll just weigh up more cons and that pro's and eventually get to the point where you almost talk yourself out of it. Just keep it short and straight to the point. You don't want to drag it out too long and make the moment any more difficult for yourself. Stick to your deadline, keep it short and sweet and everything will work out fine. You already said that your parents aren't homophobic, which is brilliant. I say go for it. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can start living your life openly, to everyone. Good luck with everything
