The world doesnt make too much sense, does it? Everyone just says "shit happens", but why? I know that everything is supposed to happen for a reason, but is it to drive us insane?, to throw us in a depression?, to give us a mental breakdown?, because the human mind and the human heart can only take so much. Over the last year I have came to realize that we are all up for grabs when it comes to death. Reguardless if we're young, reguardless if we still have kids to take care of, reguardless if we are the most caring individual in the world. No one is safe. But is there ever a line? As I said before the human mind and the human heart can only take so much. In the last 12 monthes for me my cousin Chrissy died and my best friend Brandy died. For Jenise her father died and Brandy was also her friend. Lizzy at not even one full year old lost her mother. Shawn lost the love of his life, and has to raise his daughter as a single father. This year, for everyone, has been hard enough. When is enough enough? Now, I do believe in god, i do not how ever believe in set religion. I do have a strong connection with god and it is what has goWtten me through everything still sane. But Shawn has lost enough, and now his is being threatened by my god and he may lose his mother. Lizzy may lose her grandmother. My god is a fair god, but how is this fair? How is this right? How is he supposed to survive if he not only lost one of the women he loved the most but the one woman who has been there for him throughout everything, his mother. It isnt right. It isnt fair. I dont see how it can be justified. Jessie has been on my mind a crazy amount since she went to the hospital, because she is a wonderful person. She has always been so great to me and all of Shawns other friends. She has lied for me numerous times, talked to me a lot, given me hugs, and given me rum on my 18th birthday even though I didnt drink then. I've introduced her to friends without Shawn being there, I've went by and smoked with her without Shawn living at home. Jessie is amazing. She has had a hell of a life, she has the craziest and most adventurous stories. She's like the Jesse James of the hood. The woman cannot leave now, especially with how much Shawn still needs her. I dont know what will happen if he loses Jessie. Im afraid we may lose shawn as well. Because, as I've said twice, I dont know how much the human mind or heart can take. And Id have to say Shawn has had too much pain and grief and sorrow to go throw. So I pray to my god. The one who Ive thought to be fair and just throughout my life including these last 12 monthes. Please dont do this to Shawn. Please dont do this to Lizzy. They've already been through enough, and my god should know that. My god would know that if he were as fair and just as I believe. I guess we will see. I know these are my friend from the RW but every prayer u can offer is wanted and desperately needed. Thank you. Please pray for Jessie. Please pray for Shawn to have the strength to get through this whatever the outcome. That baby needs you Shawn.
I will move this to the support section, because I think thta is more in line with what you are seeking. While I can't quite follow the relationships of all the people you mention, it does seem clear that there have been a large number of people close to you who have seen tragedy in their lives - and that this is potentially still ongoing...and weighs on you deeply. You have my sympathy...and I hope you find strength to deal with it and to be there for the people for whom you care - as, I'm sure, the people of EC will be there for you.(*hug*)
I will keep everyone in my prayers. I promise, too. I give you my deep sympathy and I am one of the EC people you can rant to, if you wish. Advice, I only wish it were beneficial. *sigh*
Precious is your family. More Latin "encouragement", if you will: Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem - Horace I'm sorry that you have to go through all this, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
