Okay, so here's the deal. I've been thinking about coming out to my closest guy friend. (I'm a seventeen year old female, I think bisexual) I think he'd be completely okay with the idea. He's not judgmental at all and I trust him enough to talk to him.. I'm not going to tell my parents unless I decide to date another woman. But what about telling my friends who are Christian? My one Christian best friend/mentor is like a sister to me. She's already made it clear in previous conversations about her other friend who switched genders that she wouldn't hang out with a gay/transgendered or other person because of what the bible says... We've been through so much, I don't want to lose her. What should I do? Should I just not tell her and my other Christian friends? Thanks for your responses in advance! Loving all of your advice/thoughts/ideas.(&&&) InfiniteColour
That's a Diffixult one. Do you think she really means it or is just saying it? She might have said it never expecting it to happen. Maybe if you told her she'd be okay with it.
People who say things like "I wouldn't hang out with a gay/transgendered or other person because of what the bible says" are not your friends.
I pretty much agree. The best way to go about anyone who is religious is to simply respect your friend's religion (it's something she was probably raised with). You can't change them, just like they can't change you. And it usually works out better not to argue that their view is skewed (just like they'll likely tell you if you say that). Perhaps all you need to do is give it time and maybe she will come around.
you probably can't change people who are brainwashed into religion. i was raised christian though i stopped believing at 14ish. if you asked me my religion today i would tell you i am not religious but christian background, more for identity and culture as i am lebanese. if they are really bible thumpers, maybe you should fidn new friends as the chances of them accepting you (as well as others) is low-to-slim. i wouldn't worry about the religious fanatics, they are insignificant.
I'm going through something similar now. I'm still closeted and was in a deeply religious network of friends. Fortunately recently I was able to move and start over somewhat, but there are still good religious friends of mine that I love, but I'm not sure how they will react when I come out. Sadly, I know that people will stop talking with me when they find out. Coming from that background myself, I know I got weirded out when I heard someone I knew was gay... and I WAS GAY! To be fair, at the time I weirded myself out, too. I guess. And I guess, just like I had to let that part of me go, we may have to let some of our friends go, too. Can't keep them caged up in a relationship that's based on a lie can we? How long can we avoid it, really? For me, the hope is that if some of them come back then they come back to me, not to who they just thought was me. That's just my own buck and quarter. All the best for whatever you decide. Godspeed.
I feel your pain. I'm a senior at a Catholic high school and all my friends are super religious. My bestfriend seems put off by homosexuality. It kills me a little inside when she talks about it in a negative light. Don't know if I'd ever have the guts to come out to her.
Keep in mind even non-religious friends say homophobic things when they don't know you or anyone else is gay. Those people telling you that your friends aren't your true friends so quickly seem almost eager for others to sever ties with people they're close with. Coming out would be a learning experience for your friends. And if they take a little time to adjust, that's completely okay. It took most of us ages to come to terms with our own selves: it's not entirely unreasonably others may require a little time to be okay with it as well.
