Am I too old to come out? (32 y old)

Welcome to EC!

You aren't alone. And no, 32 isn't "too old." We've got people here old enough to be your father who are in the process of coming out.

You may find the "LGBT Later in Life" area helpful. (Note: there are no restrictions where you can post. But that area is where you'll probably find the most practical help.)

LGBT Later in Life - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

 

No, you are never too old to come out and be yourself. As for the rest of it, I don't feel that I have enough experience to offer advice on it. Hopefully someone with more relationship wisdom will stop by and offer some insight.

 

First off welcome! It's great that you yourself have come to terms with the fact that you're gay and you don't want to live a lie (this is also something I have considered doing) while I'm considerably younger than you hopefully I can offer some good advice.
If you definitely are gay then it really is never too late to come out just explain to people your reasoning behind staying in the closet all these years and they should understand as coming out is not an easy thing to do! You're only 32 anyway there are straight people who are single or who start relationships at this age and even later, you might just have to adjust to being openly gay first.
Like I said although I'm younger than you I can relate to what you were saying about girls. I have had relationships with them and drunken opportunities to have sex with them but I always stopped everything before we actually had sex because deep down I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I also didn't want to have sex with them and a few years later have them find out that I'm gay I just couldn't do that to someone. While I still haven't had the courage to come out to anyone other than my parents and one friend in a drunken state I have finally reached a place where I know that I will eventually be completely out to everyone.
I'm not saying you have to shout out to everyone immediately that you're gay but it definitely is not too late for you! If you think your family will be accepting of you then they are always a good place to start, if you're not sure about them then maybe you can bring up some LGBT topic and see how they react to it. Hope this was of some help to you.
Good luck!

 

You are never too late to come out! If you tell your family this story, then I'm sure they'd understand! And you're never alone - there are more guys like you out there that can relate to you, really wanting a relationship. It becomes easier to come out after the first time, remember that. And you know the saying - It's now or never. Who can you trust most? They could help you and comfort you, make you feel much happier.

Hope I helped! If you want to ask any questions, don't hesitate! We're here for you.

 

Welcome to EC!

It's never too old to come out. You may have to do some explaining, but I promise you, it'll make things better.

We are all here to help you through this.

 

Wow! Your story could have been MY story. I just came out this year, at 43. I was originally planning to stay in the closet forever since, until recently (AFTER coming out, interestingly) I had never desired a relationship or sex with anyone (I did actually date and have sex with one woman, at 27, almost couldn't do it at all and hated every bit of it, except the orgasm lol separate story). However, one day while watching videos on YouTube, I stumbled across a short film (A Silent Truth). This movie hit me like a brick wall. After watching it a few times and doing some independent research, I decided that I had to "stand up and be counted" because "there is just too much at stake". I now believe that anyone who can come out safely should seriously think about doing so, even if, like me, they don't intend or wish to date (again, this has changed SINCE I came out suggesting that even though I had told myself many times during the past ten years that I am gay, I must have still been a bit in denial). Coming out of the closet is the most powerful form of activism a gay person can engage in. I should also say that, in my case, the specific reason I had for doing so made the decision to come out and the act itself an extremely easy one.

 

I came out at thirty five. It's not too late! Be thankful you didn't get engaged, like me. You could have been married like several members here. Being your authentic self is worth it.

 

It's not too late — welcome! Everyone here is very supportive and will help guide you on your new journey... :icon_bigg

 

Just remember, people's opinion of you is none of your business. That is their burden to bear, not yours. I would rather someone hate me for being me, than hate myself for being who they want me to be. I wish I could tell you it will be easy, and everyone will accept you and celebrate who you are. Maybe that will happen. But chances are not everyone will, and that is okay. Don't let them get you down. There are people all over the world, who are here for you. I am 30 myself and still trying to figure out my sexuality. It probably sounds silly, but I'm excited to figure out who I am so I can be "out" about it. But first, I have to figure out what that is exactly. I wish you all the luck.

 

Here is a song I love by Ray Boltz:
God Knows I Tried by Ray Boltz
When they said I was a sinner, I was struggling with my youth. And, with the hope that God could change me, I believed it was the truth.
I spent my whole life trying to be what they said I should. On the inside I was dying, because I never really could.
God knows I tried. God knows all the pain I kept inside. He’s seen every tear I ever cried. God knows I tried.
I was so good at pretending, just like an actor on the stage. In the end, nobody knew me, only the roles that I portrayed.
I would rather have you hate me knowing who I really am than to try and make you love me being something that I can’t.
God knows I tried. God knows all the pain I kept inside. He’s seen every tear I ever cried. God knows I tried.
And, after all these years of living, I’ve begun to understand. I can try to be like someone else, but it won’t change (no it won’t change, no it won’t change) who I am.
God knows I tried. God knows all the pain I kept inside. He’s seen every tear I ever cried. God knows I tried.
Ray Boltz Blog

 

I'm definitely going to check out that short film Silent Truth you talk about.

 

I'm 35 and I'm planning on coming out soon. Like you, most people assumed that I'm straight and I was close to getting engaged to a girl, but that was brief and of course I cut it off. Thank God. I'm also a virgin, so it's like starting over again. One thing I was advised was to realize that you've been repressing the gay part of you for some time and that parts of you will be immature. Like having a "gay age". For me, I don't want to do anything that I'll regret later just because I suddenly unlocked a suppressed part of me and I started to act like a 16 year old in a candy store. If that makes sense. Thanks for sharing.

 

Hell, no! Be yourself, you'll regret it if you don't.

 

People have come out at far later,
so no!

I know how it feels about 'lost time'.. but look at it this way - every minute you don't come out is another minute of lost time. You need to make the most of what you still have

 

People have come out at far later,
so no!

I know how it feels about 'lost time'.. but look at it this way - every minute you don't come out is another minute of lost time. You need to make the most of what you still have

 

I completely understand how you're feeling. To me it feels like there's a clock ticking and every single day I'm missing out on living my life as myself. Even at 20, I feel like I have missed out on so much happiness.

 

I am in the same boat as you, so sending you support! I'm 31 and just starting to attempt to get the nerve to admit my sexuality to those around me. Hard to do, when I've been married over a decade and have three children in my "safety net" of the straight label. I don't think we are too old. 30 is still young in the grand scheme of things. I wish you the best of luck as you continue your journey.