Hello

Hi everyone, first time posting. I love reading peoples stories in terms of coming out and how reactions go on this site and think everyone who contributes deserves some cookies

So my story so far;

Im 23 and grew up in Ireland in the suburbs of Dublin. Im gay and have known and felt this way for a long time. I am the eldest and only boy of a family of 4 children. My parents are great, raised me to be good person for the most part and are quite cool in my opinion They are religious though, even attend Latin mass when they don't understand latin...lol

During my teenage years when I was 13, 15 and 17, my dad found gay porn on my phone and computer history. First two time he confronted me, very annoyed and shouting and then we wouldnt speak for 2 weeks and things would slip back to normal without addressing the obvious issue I was having with my sexuality. The third time he told my Mom and the next day she picked me up from school and went crazy the whole ride home with a stop to the supermarket thrown in I think, She was very very angry and completely against it, I was lacking the confidence to do anything but bow my head, avoid eye contact and mumble responses that she wanted to hear.

Like before, things slipped back to normal for months then my mom brought back a copy of 'The Brandsma Review' a regular publication by a conservative Catholic group available for a price after Latin mass of course!

In it there was a 4 page article, a narrative by some man basically describing how coming out was the worst decision he ever made which my mom made me sit and read in silence while she prepared dinner. Afterwards I was just like 'alright' and we didnt talk about it since. Feeling a bit lost in college and my mates were coming to Australia which is where I am now, I up and left suddenly from life in Ireland and have been here for 18 months now. Every once in a while my mom will bring up like have I found a girlfriend yet and talking about my future and about wife and kids sort of stuff.

I took a long time to come to terms with it myself and I only told a few close mates just before I left for Australia which was very liberating to do. My mates have been great about it, all straight lads who are open minded in the funniest ways. But I am a bit lost as to what I should do with my parents who clearly dont want this life for me, even over here in Australia its starting to depress me that theres this unclear barrier between us.

Anyway ill leave it at that for now, would appreciate any feedback anyone has to offer...