Well, I never thought I'd be writing this, but last night at 5am while mum was away at a family thing I texted her and came out. Wow. Here's the main points of conversation since: Me (5am): While you're gone I thought it'd be a good time to tell you that I'm gay, hope you're ok with it... Let me know what you're thinking? Mum(5am): Hmm and you choose 5am to tell me this? Speak to you when I get home. X Mum (8am): Can me and you dog walk together alone when I get back? Feel like I need to talk to you properly. I love you gay, straight, whatever. Xxxx Mum (11am and yes I had replied to messages I'm just only posting relevant bits): you kind of shocked me at 5am!! X Bear in mind I didn't expect her to read it let alone reply at 5am, thought the phone would be on "do not disturb"... I've never felt so sick in my life. But, do you guys think she's going to be ok with it? I know she said she loves me but I'm scared as hell for this dog walk when she gets back... Any advice on what to do when I talk to her again!?:help:
Congrats on coming out to your mother. I'm sure that the dog walk will possibly be difficult and a bit uncomfortable for both sides. But, remember, your mum already said the most important thing that she loves you no matter what. That means it will all work out in the end. Good luck. You will be happier on this side of the closet with your mum.
I like her 5am reaction. And it only took her 3 hours to digest it all and reach back out to you. It seems like everything should be good with mum. You have to be relieved. Congratulations for taking that big step.
Aw, I like how simple that was. No big charade, just 'I'm gay, I hope you're okay with that'. Her response seems great, so don't worry about it too much.
Thanks everyone for your responses so far, it's calming me down a bit(&&&). Ill post again after this walk....
Your mum sound like a very sweet person who loves you very much , I would not worry at all if I was you. Good on you , I wish I had your courage .
Good luck with the dog walk! It probably will be a bit awkward but she's sounds like she'll be completely accepting of it!
Thank you all for the replies, after a very long and stressful day I've now had that talk which was pretty good, she was fine about it and a bit surprised I didn't feel like I could tell her. I've also told my dad, who just said he wants me to be happy and loves me, my sister who already knew as her friend saw me on a gay dating app a few days a go, and both my parents' partners (they're not together) were told by my parents. My mum even told her brother who I'm very close to and he's fine. So really great redactions overall! . Just grandparents left, which mum will do tomorrow. Feeling happy thank you all for your help.
Good for you! Congrats! oh, and for the record, I have an 18 yo son too, and if he dropped a bombshell like that on my via text at 5am, I would have reacted much like your mum. Although I may have been disappointed to realize that there's something so important that he didn't feel comfortable discussing with me in person, I would have been overjoyed to know that he at least found some way to communicate, and that's all that matters in the long haul. Good job!
You will be OK - you at least had the guts to come out to your parents - My father has died and mother has dementia. If I told her - it would not register.
As a mother of a gay son, just be honest with her. I wept when my son told me he was gay. Not because he is gay, but because of the battle he will have to fight because of it. I cried because I felt as though I was going to be sending him out into a war that I can support as much as I can, but cannot battle with him. If that makes sense. People won't hate me for being a mom of a gay son...not nearly as much as they are going to hate him for loving boys. It was hard and still is. I love him, gay..straight..bi..whatever. My love for him didn't change...my protective instincts went into hyper over drive. Now, I look forward to helping pick his tux for prom and assuring his dates tie matches his... I look forward to him someday marrying the man of his dreams...I look forward to the child he plans to adopt someday. I hope your Mom looks forward to things like that too. With that said. Be open, be honest, let her know you need her support and her love, lay it all out on the table, open your heart to her. But also be supportive of her as much as you need her to be supportive of you. As parents, we never want our children's lives to be difficult... she might need some time to process how she can still protect you from a world not quite accepting, but getting better. Good luck to you on your journey.
