Hi there, just new to this and my first post! Basically I'm a 23 year old guy and finally starting to come to the realisation that i'm gay...I think! I have always thought of myself as straight (even though I would watch gay porn 90% of the time when ....) and always thought I would grow out of that phase and be only attracted to girls. I'm very straight acting, play loads of sports and all of my friends are guys who are the same (none of them are gay) I haven't had a girlfriend in two years and never seem to be interested in hooking up with girls on nights out. My only thing that keeps me from thinking I'm gay is that whenever I do hook up with a guy I always feel so bad about it and can't think about anything else for weeks, I then don't hookup with another guy for months until Im out some night after a few too many drinks and I start the whole thing again! Whenever I hook up with a girl I don't enjoy it as much and basically do it just so people don't start to question my sexuality, but afterwards I never have any regrets and am happy that I "did it" with a girl the night before. I'm so confused at what to do and its really starting to drive me crazy, Im scared if I did come out that I would then start to think Im straight and at that stage its to late because I'd already be out! Sorry for rambling, if anyone has any advice or help would be great! (One other thing!Im only attracted to guys who are between 35 to 60 years old (Im 23), is this weird? Or have anything to do with my gayness/straightness :lol
To me it sounds like you definitely lean way closer to being attracted to guys, I don't think you will have to worry about thinking your straight if you came out either - if anything else bi. When you say yourself you mainly only hook up with girls just to say that you did and don't feel as bad afterwards makes me think you need to realize that there isn't anything wrong with being with a guy, it's none of anyone else's business who you get with anyway that think different. I don't think finding older guys attractive is too uncommon either, so don't worry much about that.
What do you mean by feeling bad when hooking up with guys? Do you feel bad that they're guys or that you're gay? It sounds like you need to be more honest with yourself and stop appeasing others' expectations by going out with girls. IMO, it's not fair to them or to you, unless you don't want to have long-term relationships with anyone. You might be bi if you really are sexually attracted to women. That said, coming out is just a verbal/social process, unlike your sexuality which has been set since you were a child. Attraction to certain groups of people are a mix of cultural stereotypes and personal upbringing. There are definitely other young men interested in older men.
Thanks for the responses! Am to be honest I don't why I feel bad after hooking up with guys, it's just this feeling that I always get, like I have done something wrong (I know there is nothing wrong with it) Also I don't really know if I'm sexually attracted to women or not, I have sex with girls sometimes but it feels like I'm forcing it just for the sake of it, with a guy its the opposite, I sometimes don't want to do it but can't help it and I enjoy it so much more. I work with a few gay people and get on really well with them, I don't even see them being gay as anything unusual anymore so why do I have such a problem accepting it myself? I've got one friend who I have lived next to all my life and could trust with anything, Im going to tell her soon (even though sometimes I think she suspects it already) The fact it's a girl might be a bit easier to talk to her about it and I know she wont tell anyone
