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School formal soon, I want to come out... should I?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Episode, Aug 26, 2013.

?

Should I come out before formal and ask him out?

  1. Yes, go for it, you have nothing to lose

    3 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. No, not enough signs that he may like you

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Episode

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Sydney
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So as the title says... my school's formal/prom is coming up in a few months time. Everyone is talking about dates and who they're bringing etc.

    There's this heavy feeling in my chest when I think of my sexuality and whether to come out before the formal. I'm sure as many of you know, it's a dreadful feeling... It's like running the last 100m of a marathon - knowing the time is coming and that you will eventually have to come out. I want to. Yet at the same time I'm afraid to.

    I always planned on getting my major tests out of the way (still have about 6 weeks to go), then finally opening up to everyone because then whatever happened wouldn't affect my results. Yet the more I ruminate beforehand, the more fearful I become. I can see that from that day, I'll be known as 'gay', and of course everything in my life will change. There's this irrational (but also slightly rational) fear that people will start viewing me differently, and that people will act differently around me. I've built up quite a reputation in my year, and I don't know whether this whole 'gay' business will alter people's minds. 'Will they start avoiding me?' 'Will my friends turn on me?' These are the thoughts and fears that go through my brain.
    Has anyone had these situations actually happen? How did you deal with it?

    Then there's the actual formal day where initially I was going to bring one of my close girl-friends, but realised if I were to come out, I'd probably find a guy date.

    I mean there's this guy at my school, I've had a crush on him for about a year or so. We rarely get the chance to talk because we hang out in different social groups and we do different subjects. I don't know if he's gay, but he plays eye-games with me way too often. It started last year, with the typical stare-then-look-away-when-he-looks-at-you game. He also acted completely different when I was nearby, he'd amplify his volume a tad bit and try to show off with how many push-ups he could do, or by giving his mates knuckle-sandwiches.

    I don't even know if they're signs worth investigating, because they seem so feeble. The problem is he's 'straight-acting', so it's hard to fathom whether he could be gay or not. Heck even I'm 'straight-acting', sometimes I try to convince myself "maybe if he's gay he never approaches me because I seem straight?" Otherwise I fall back to low self-esteem, and think he'd probably reject me anyway, or worst comes to worst, he'd actually be straight and I'd be the laughing stock of the grade. I actually dread that the most.

    I guess it's just a big challenge that I'm afraid to conquer - I've come here to kinda insulate myself from psychological torment... somebody give me some advice :frowning2:

    Should I come out and ask Mr. Crush or not?
     
  2. treeofleaves

    Regular Member

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    ComeOUT! after your major tests, but before your formal! coming out will be good! unless you know people are specifically not liking of gays then they shoul dbe fin eand treat you the same...i dont really have any experiences to share as im not out at all ot anything. bu ti have two bi friends..and everyone they have com eout to treat treat them exacly the same...and yeah. you should try to see whats goign on with this 'mr.crush' and see if that works out. but otherwise. YES! COME OUT!