Does mostly everyone think being gay is a choice? I got kicked out of my class today. I always do, me and my friends do it for the fun, since we're all passing anyway . I was talking to my friend. I told him: "I used to hate being gay, but I like who I am now, But I would have given anything to be straight once." Him: "Isn't it a choice?" OHH HELL NO!! Lol, I didn't say that. But I'm pretty sure my face said it. I told him straight up that I didn't choose this, just like I can't choose to be tall, thin, and mexican, I don't choose that, I don't choose to be gay. He said, "whoa ok, I learned something new today." But by his demeanor, I could tell he just said that to shut me up, and didn't believe me. Later on, while still hanging around outside after we got kicked out, he said that ALOT of people think it's a choice. Really? Is that True? He's got to be the 5th person whose told me that.
Most people who don't know anybody who is gay believe that it is a choice. Usually they don't know why they think that way, or have any sound reasoning behind it. I've had the chance to change a few people's opinions on other forums/message boards I belong to. If you don't think your friend believes you, ask him if he chose to be straight, or if he chose to be attracted to a certain type of girl. Usually comparing it to something people are familiar with helps them to understand.
Nodnarb is right. I think often one of the most convincing responses is to say something like "So when did you chose to like girls instead of boys?"
That is one of the things that pisses me off the most, almost as much as when people assume you'll like another guy just cause they're gay too. Its definetly not a choice, I begged god for years just to make me normal, to just make it all go away. All those thoughts scared me to death, but they came into my mind unbidden. But you learn to accept you for you and live your life
As Nodnarb said, you should try comparing it to something that they can relate to. Whenever someone tells me it was a choice, I just ask them if they chose to be straight, and they normally understand it from then on out.
I know it's not a choice but I must admit that most people I know don't think it's a choice either. I'm of a different generation to most of you on EC so perhaps those I hang around with think differently to those whom you hang around with. Most of the time people latch onto ideas from others without thinking for themselves. Hence, they all play "follow the leader" and all think being gay is a choice. If they stop to think about it they'd see that nobody in their right mind would choose to be persecuted, ridiculed, made fun of, beaten up etc, etc.
One of the best things you can do in this kind of situation, no matter how frustrated you may feel, is try to educate the people who believe that stigma. Hopefully, your friend will come around if you keep pressing the idea that it's not a choice, you were born that way, just like how he likes girls. Ask him if he could choose to like guys and actually go through with it. That might help him to realise it's not a choice.
I'm lucky in that most people I know are liberal and educated, but when I have come across this, I always ask "Why would someone choose to be part of a discriminated-against minority?". Since I've come out, I've had to explain to one person I came out to that it's not a choice, and I explained it in more personal terms, in that I don't think there is anyone in the world who could have tried harder to be heterosexual as I did, but that however much I tried to choose being straight, it just did not work.
If the only response we give to ignorance is anger and/or superiority, the ignorance isn't going to go anywhere. I've had a couple people ask if it's a choice. And I tell them. I didn't choose to BE gay. Liking guys is in my wiring. But I did choose to LIVE gay. I chose to live by that programming. And that's why I'm as happy as I am. Lex
Oh that's a good explaination, i liked that one very much!! For me, liking guys and girls are in my wiring!
I've had many times where I was scared of my sexuality and tried to rid of it. It really isn't a choice. One of my friends told me I could get rid of it if I really wanted to and I replied in my head, "Hell no. That just wouldn't be me." I got so pissed.
Yeah, i've actually never really been scared of my sexuality...i've always been accepting of other peoples sexuality even when i was a little kid, so i sort of...eased into it XD. none of my close-ish friends (the 30-odd people i hang out with) think its a choice...but thats because i practically beat it into them XD and yet none of them suspect that im gay 0.o idiots...XD
it's not a choice and some of my friends think it is. also i have meet many who think just cause i'm gay i'll sleep around with all the other gay guys in the area and that just cause someone else is gay that i should date them. things like that just piss me off
Uhh.. There's a bit of psychology that goes into this whole "We think it's a choice thing"... It makes me angry but from what I've learned from my friends, this is what I've got: It's not as simple as you choosing to be gay, my friends think that we chose to be attracted to the same sex.. which sounds like I said the same thing but it's sligthly different. I asked one of my girl-friends if she chose to like girls, would she be genuinely attracted to them. She told me that she would but she doesn't want to because she's not attracted to them. This means that my friends believe that even though we call ourselves gay, we only say that because it was a choice from the fact that we find the same sex appealing. She believes we could call ourselvs straight if we wanted to like the opposite sex.. She doesn't understand the concept of pure feeling. (pure = without our input) BASICALLY, people have learned to use doublethink/speak just to spite us.. I think it's generally because they don't want to give up their life-long teachings just to believe something that's happening now. They believe in their own contradictions. Uhh.. so I guess this is kinda confusing.. but .... there's my 2 cents! (the opinion made from this observation is subject to change with further observations due to my anti-ignorance policy)
Well, the whole reason behind the choice thing, from what I've gathered, is that in the Bible it states that being gay is an abomination. Or rather, the act of it is, but still. Anyways, if people were gay then their whole religion would fall apart. I have nothing against Christians or the Bible, I'm just stating what I've seen. But I definitely agree with Lex. If we respond with ignorance and hate then that's all we'll get back, a never ending cycle.
