Long story short, I came out last week. I came out as lesbian, and I'm generally pretty sure that that's what I am (Kinsley 5 probably). Ever since then, I've been becoming worried that I'm not actually gay even though there have been signs suggesting I am since I was 13. For some reason, the thought of sex with a women now seems unappealing and sex with a man is appealing. This is NOT NORMAL for me. I've been checking out guys loads which is something I rarely do. What on earth is happening?? I've spent AGES coming to terms with being gay and now my brain is messing with me again. Could these feelings be legit? Or is this denial's final hurrah before it hopefully LEAVES ME ALONE. I don't even mind being gay I just want to be secure in my identity after such a long time and now it seems like I'm doubting worse than ever - now that people know I'm gay I reaaaaally don't want to end up dating guys, coming out once was stressful enough. Has this happened to anyone? Did the thoughts subside?
I know how you feel. I'm kind of in the same boat (but throw gender identity into the mix haha, yey confusing feelings!). I've been out to everyone as gay for about 4 years now... and how I'm having second thoughts about liking girls... I think I might be homoromantic bisexual, but I'm really not sure. I don't want to like girls. I don't think my feelings will change, maybe they will, mostly I just think it's a matter of coming to terms with it and just understanding it.
I think there's more to being a lesbian than just liking women sexually; there's an emotional/romantic connection as well, so I wouldn't worry too much. I think once you find someone that you could possibly love, everything else will eventually fall into place. Because there was a time when I found sex with women (two specific women) unappealing, and it was because I was not physically/sexually attracted to them. And it left me very confused, but whenever I would fantasize about someone who I thought was physically attractive, I found it to be very exciting. I think the most important thing you should focus on is who can you picture yourself with long term, is it a man or a woman?
More relatable topics... All of a sudden my interest in women has dropped to pretty low levels, and thoughts of guys are becoming more common place, but it's really uncomfortable. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd like to continue dating girls, but my anxiety levels are pretty high about this whole thing. Women have suddenly become a foreign concept. I can't say thoughts of being with a guy are more or less appealing (I mean for the most part I'd rather not), they're just been coming up in my thoughts more and more frequently. I used to be able to say with confidence I'd like to be with a woman long-term, now I'm not sure... These thoughts of guys are really annoying, honestly. I don't even know where they're coming from - it's not like I've "surpressed" them, but even in grammar school I wasn't really into guys. I hate to say it, but when I think of my ex-girlfriend I feel a bit more alright with my sexuality as a whole, but then feel bad about the thoughts because, well, we aren't together anymore. So, well, you aren't alone. X_X
So no what you are going through i was having those doubts but i no I'm gay and proud it is all very confusing xx
I kno the feels. Right after i came out as trans, i all of a sudden started thinking i wasn't... things have changed since then, but it sucks a lot hope you work it out soon (*hug*)
I've been experiencing this as well. Since coming out I now openly talk about when a girl is pretty. Something I've nevet ever done. I think it has to do with having to pretend to like the person I'm saying is pretty but now to be able to just give compliment. Some men can be such dogs when checking a girl out and I never wanted to be like that which of course I wouldn't anyways since I'm Gay. I now question myself more that ever am I sure, once your out you can't go back in.
Even as a girl who likes girls, I don't really go and oggle. If I find one attractive I will appreciate her beauty, if not be attracted to her (If I find one extremely attractive it's hard not to stare, honestly. That happened a few days before school ended :lol - but I don't stare down every attractive girl like "OH GOD SO HOT! MUST TAP! CAN'T. CONTROL. HORMONES." It's good to know that we're not alone in this whole thing. :bang: It's quite frustrating.
