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Should I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jojo1189, Aug 27, 2013.

  1. Jojo1189

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    I want to come out as transgender. But I don't know if I should or not.
    I have never seen anyone in my family act transphobic. Uneducated and ignorant, yeah, but not transphobic. My parents are smart people. They're accepting. I don't think they would kick me out, or deny it, or reject me.
    In school, I have never seen anyone act transphobic. Teacher or student or otherwise. None of them have ever acted transphobic. Again, maybe uneducated, but not cruel. There was a transgender student in the school last year, and he was accepted, as far as I know. I have loads of friends who are, and will be, 100% behind me, and will support me all the way. My parents would support me too, as far as I know.
    But I still amn't sure if I should. Anyone have an insight, and any tips for coming out as trans? :help:
     
  2. AndreaD89

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I mean i think you should be who u are i know its hard for me to working at a shop with all guys but do whats best for you im in the process of being more of a woman
     
  3. dylansheadplace

    Regular Member

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    When I came out to my friends, it was really slow. It took awhile to get each of them alone and tell them about my identity. A lot of them didn't know how to connect to what I was feeling so that took a while.

    With my parents, it was more difficult. I didn't really come out to them since they found a bunch of letters I had been writing to them. I found coming out too hard to do face-to-face. So I wrote letters and one day, my mom found them and she confronted me about it. Turns out she was a lot more accepting that I originally thought she was (my family is excessively religious so I wasn't sure how they would take it).

    I wouldn't come out at school just because I know how my school is and how people would take it. But, if you think it would be safe for you, then I'd say you should. Embrace your identity.

    But I definitely think you should come out. Take your time. It took months for my parents to know.

    Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! It's great that you have become comfortable and are ready to let others know. :slight_smile:

    If you feel that your friends and family would be supportive, why not try coming out to one friend that you know you can trust to the fullest, and take it from there.

    As you start coming out, you could also try joining one or two support groups, which could help you to expand your support network, and have that extra support when and if you need it.

    Before you come out, maybe try to think about what does transgender mean to you? Why would you like to go through the transition? What so you feel is missing at the moment in your life? Formulating answers to the questions, might help you with coming out to others, and speak (perhaps) to some of their questions that they might have as a result of your coming out.
     
  5. AndreaD89

    Regular Member

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    Well ive been having issues with being my true self i dress up everynight and walk like a woman act like one and i love it i love to shop and clean and grow my nails etc but hate getting up everymorning to only have to put on guys pants and shirts and go to work i hate it cause im stressed everyday having to hide my self
     
  6. Krilky

    Krilky Guest

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    You're definitely transgender, but I'd hold off on coming out. You're 13. People simply won't believe you. Because you're 13.
    I believe you. But most people view transgender-ness as a hormonal thing, similar to sexuality, so yeah…I'm sorry.
     
  7. AndreaD89

    Regular Member

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    Im 23 in need of advice
     
  8. Emulator

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    You could try telling your parents, but take it slowly. And be prepared to accept that they may not believe you (Most parents attribute these feelings to simply growing up)
    If your peers are fine with it in school, you could tell some close friends. Just don't rush it, many have come out at a much later age.

    -Emulator