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Coming out at school?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by 2112, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. 2112

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    I don't want to hide it, and I'm ok with everyone at school knowing that I'm gay, but I don't know how to do it. I don't want it to slowly spread and get a ton of people asking me if it's true (or telling me I'll go to hell) but I don't want some big announcement on Facebook either. I wish everyone could somehow just know.

    I am also a little worried about what will happen. I have social anxiety, so I'm very quiet and probably invisible to most people. I really don't like attention. Is coming out usually a big thing at school or do most people not really care at all?

    Any ideas? Stories?
     
  2. monotone

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    Why don't you just change your Facebook "prefers" to "men"?
     
  3. 2112

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    I have a few homophobic cousins on Facebook so I wouldn't want them to know yet. Also, people would only know if they look on my profile so it wouldn't really do much.
     
  4. monotone

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    Hmm, from my experience in coming out, people won't gossip about it or anything. I'm not sure if that's a good thing for you, if you want everyone to know but without making a big splash.
     
  5. 2112

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    Yes, that is a good thing. But now I'm starting to think I should probably wait, I only told my family a month ago and a friend a few weeks ago. But I also don't want to have to hide it and most people probably wouldn't care. I don't know what to do.
     
  6. dfiant

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    The key to coming out is having a good support system around you at the time that you come out, but the ultimate is 'why is it anyone else’s business'. The school environment can be pretty unforgiving so you need to figure out what advantage it is going to give you by broadcasting your sexuality at school (Doing this is going to get back to you homophobic cousins just the same as broadcasting on Facebook).

    Don't think of not broadcasting your sexuality to everyone as 'hiding', sexuality is a very personal thing so by not broadcasting your sexuality you are just being a private person. You also don't have to say 'no' if someone asks you the question :wink:
     
  7. TheImortalDrake

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    I Feel your pain man.... I am 15 and i am bi 2 only 2 people... A girl who rides my bus, and one of my friends. The problem with school is that most people are homophobes and cant accept the fact someone else is different. Speaking of school. Today on the bus, i was in deep thought and me and that girl were talking and she asked me what was wrong and i said "Its nothing, mostly" and she said what is it? I sighed and told her "I am just wondering if i tell this to anyone if they will hate me" thats when she asked me if i was gay, i smiled and just nodded "Halfway right, i am bi" she smiles and patted me on the back and told me, "I dont hate you sam...." that made my day.
     
  8. 2112

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    Actually, my school is mostly very liberal. Even the conservatives in my government classes agreed that we should be able to get married. I'm not worried about what people will think about it.
     
  9. monotone

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    I never associated Michigan with being the most liberal of places.
     
  10. 2112

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    It isn't, it mostly sucks. But where I live, most people are liberal.
     
  11. blueberrymuffin

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    It depends on how "hiding it" factors into your life. If you are getting pressure about no girlfriend, you could reply you're into guys. If you just want people to know for the sake of it, could wear something pride related. As the quiet type, this might seem out of character though. If it's to find a boyfriend, you could ask out some guy you like. Alternatively, you could just tell friends and leave it at that. Then you aren't having to hide it around them.
     
  12. Munyal

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    This. I'm even in Catholic school, and everyone I've told couldn't give a crap. One chick actually said that she would punch anyone who made fun of me.:slight_smile:
     
  13. Annon

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    Story:
    I told a couple of my closest friends. Nothing really happened, so I waited until there was no real drama happening, and I said I have a boyfriend.
    It took a few minutes to click, then they were like, 'If you have a boyfriend, does that mean your not straight?' Which was quite funny, they sounded very stupid. But Everyone knew within a day or so. And it was never really spoken about again.
     
  14. JessicaWolfess

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    I remember a few guys and 1 girl were gay, but it wasn't really a issue even though that school houses the most homophobic dickhead bogan students in the world. It was just they were gay and no body really talked about it
     
  15. AwesomGaytheist

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    If you just start mentioning it in everyday conversation. That was how I did it at first. That and everybody and their brother knew because pretty soon I was walking around holding hands with a guy.
     
  16. I feel that our generation is a bit more accepting so that's why I came out to my friends at school. They were perfectly cool with it. I'm sure at least some of your friends would feel the same.
     
  17. Emberblaze

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    Last year I pretty much came out by making a badge on my bookbag that said GAY and PROUD! on it and most people got the message, not many people really said anything about it. I'm a well-known person at school, but I'm not like popular and all that jazz so most people didn't really care too much but they certainly looked twice at it.

    This year, my senior year, I have a hate that has two male symbols on it interlocked with a small heart in the center and I'm gonna wear that soon to get the final message across. (the badge on my bookbag got attacked by the rain and was reduced to a puddle of what looked like melted skittles.)
     
  18. Mattyboii

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    You just need to be prepared for the consequences if you do come out at school. I did it in year 8 (I'm from England) and first I told a few friends that I might be bi and word spread, which was annoying at first. I had to deal with a lot of people coming up to me and asking me if I was really gay and shit like that, people I didn't even know in my year asking me really personal questions, like if I'd kissed a guy before (which I hadn't and still haven't 3 years later) and it did get quite irritating. Eventually everyone thought I was lying anyway and so by year 9 hardly anyone cared. My point is, be prepared for an initial backlash from some people but don't think too much about it. It's your friends that count! Hope all goes well for you :slight_smile:
     
  19. GayNerd

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    You could just tell your friends that aren't Homophobic. If you tell the school, there will be people who won't like you, or even worse, make fun of you. But since I don't know how it's like at your school, if you tell close friends, they can help make the best choice.
     
  20. Nines

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    In my experience people don't really spread the news. Most kids don't care enough to bring the subject up if it's not relevant.
    I was out and a lot of the people I interacted with didn't know because they never asked and no one ever bothered to go out of their way to tell them but then again my school was kinda big so tracking down people who knew me just to tell them would have been a real hassle.
    My school was in a military area so it was a touch conservative.