Im 15. Ive come to the realization that i was gay recently but always knew there was something different about me. I never wanted to accept my sexuality but recently its been on my mind all the time. I know what i need to do but i don't know when to or how to. I feel like I'm living a lie and lying to everyone around me. I could honestly say that i think my mom would be ok with it. My dad on the other hand, is pretty homophobic. When it comes to gays, he gets disgusted. I dont think he would disown me though. He's a hothead and would probably take the loss of his straight son not too well. Im not worried about my immediate family though. Its my aunts and uncles and grandparents. My confirmation is soon, and quite frankly, i think religion is bullshit. No offense to anyone. Im "believing" for my confirmation money so i could get a car. Little selfish i know, but ehh. I know my grandparents would be crushed because they are hardcore shraight-outta-italy religious. They would prolly disown me but i could care less. Also i got some pretty good friends on my side and I tell my best friend everything. She would probably be the first to know. Im a pretty strong person so bullying would do nothing to me. I just don't want to miss out on prom and fun events. You know? I just need advice on what to do and when to do it. This would also probably be a big shock to pretty much everyone since i don't show any feminine traits. Im also prepared to probably lose some friends, too. Trust me ive been going over scenarios of this for so long. Im just tired of feeling like this. Ive been pretty depressed lately and just wanna be happy. Thanks so much in advanced.
Things get a lot easier (and more fun) after telling the first person. Although it'll be a bit bumpy sometimes, it'll feel good when your friends accept you for who you are. It is great that you can identify supportive people. I know what you mean with the confirmation money, and I wouldn't blame you for being selfish. You gotta do what you gotta do . One approach you can try is to just not think about it until the timing is perfect... when you and your friend are just talking about a subject where you can smoothly insert your own identity or support for gay things. Or you can plan out a long speech or written letter to your friend. Either way, it sounds like you've found the first person.
