Hi guys! My apologizes for straying away from this site for a few months. Can't believe I forgot how much this site has helped me out and made me feel comfortable with myself. But I'll try to be back on more often! Promise. D: So... since I first joined this site, I was struggling to accept that I was into guys. I convinced myself that I still could like girls, thus I told a select few friends and my parents I ws bi. 50/50 with no preference to be exact. Needless to say that despite me being the least flamboyant guy they know, they all kinda figured I was to begin with. (This next part's kinda new news to me) I was talking to my friend who knows I'm gay and completely supports me, and she told me that supposedly our entire group of friends (about 25 of us in the group) found out I was "bi"... thanks to some peoples' mouths lacking the ability to keep secrets. I could honestly care less, but it was kinda like a "well OKAY THEN. ._. " kinda moment. Anywho~ Back to the main point, around July 2012 I had my first boyfriend via LDR, and we talked ALL THE TIME. Literally, every day. Never before had I had such an amazing relationship. The relationship did stress us out, so we broke up back jn January but are still friends. I realized that my past relationships (all with girls) had never made me feel as happy as dating a guy did. At that point, I was like "Oh, I'm gay. Cool beans yo" and went about my life. I recame out to my parents, who again said they just wanna see me happy and they want me and my future family to still be a part of their lives. NOW, HERE IS MY DILEMMA AND REASON FOR POSTING THIS THREAD. I don't exactly know why, but I feel really awkward telling my current friends I'm gay. Lately when I've been making new friends, I let them know right off the bat "I'm gay. Hope we can be friends cuz you seem like a kyuul person". It's now a matter of bringing my original group of friends up to speed. Literally, I just have an irrational fear of telling them and I'm not sure why. But I would prefer they hear it from me and not someone else. It just kinda bums me out that I have to keep my mouth shut when my friends (who still think I'm straight) start either A) discussing cute guys and what they look for in a boyfriend, and B) when they start discussing how they will need to approve of the girl I will date and marry. Always lot of discussion about my and my future wife. ．＿． Makes me feel REALLEH uncomfortable. I'm super motivated to just scream it out once... I just wanna be myself dammit. OTZ Is there any advice y'all have about coming out to friends? It is much appreciated. ＾＾; P.S. Sorry for this novel of thoughts. Hope any of it makes sense. OTZ ごめん
Hey, and welcome back to EC! I feel like the best advice anyone can give is that you just need to gather up your bravery and do it. Coming out is always hard, especially to people that we care about: coming out to strangers is pretty easy by comparison. If you really feel ready to come out to your friends just think of the way that you feel most comfortable doing it. You could just interrupt one of them one day when they're talking about boys and throw in some things about a guy that you like. You could casually mention your boyfriend, or you could write them a letter or e-mail if you feel more comfortable not doing it in person. Awkwardness sucks, but all you can really do in this situation is just power through the awkwardness, and when you're done with it you'll be really happy that you did. It's kinda like jumping in a cold pool. It's scary, but it's nice once you're in the water. As always, we're all here to support you if you need it.
Personally, I'd down play it. Even though it's a big deal to you, make it seem small to them. Just be like "oh that guy is cute" or "so my bf ...." or just start making references to MLP. <_<...(might be a stereotype on that last one) Seriously though, the less of a big deal you make it seem to the them the less of a big deal it will become.
I found that it is much easier to tell friends than family. Know which of your friends you can really trust and can share things with and then find the right time just to speak to them about saying who you are etc.
Or should I just wait till college and be 100% open then? ( ._.) It just is so much easier for me to come out to strangers than it is to people whom I've been friends with since middle school (currently a senior, so about 8 or so years). Plus, probably should've mentioned that I go to a catholic school, thus there are some MAJOR CONSERVATIVE INFLUENCES. Like, for crying out loud the faculty tell us how we are to act, dress, and even how we have to wear our hair. (yup, cookie cutters basically, but that's aside the point). I guess it's not so much of a big deal as opposed to a nuisance that prevents me from being myself, y'know? But thanks for he advice thus far. ^^;
