Seriously like, I've never brought a girl home, never had a girlfriend, parents grandparents and whole family keep asking me stuff, and saying things like "your brother's girlfriend is cute, when are we gonna meet YOUR girlfriend?" or at a party "Go ask our guests if they'd like something to drink, and choose one of the girls and flirt with her!'" or "Why do you hang out with that gay kid, he's gonna convert you!" It's like they're saying "Hey we know everything why don't you come out to us already and get this over with?" But if I do come out, then it will be hell for me especially in this family of close-minded freaks. If you already got the hint - say nothing about it. I won't say nothing about it either. And nobody gets hurt. WHY the whole "where is your girlfriend" quiz every bloody time I meet with family :bang:
I hear those kinds of things all the time from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Every time I see them, the first broken English words out of the mouths of my 90 year-old immigrant grandparents and aunts and uncles is "You have a girlfriend?" And the answer is always no...though I used to say "not yet". I don't know what the exact context is in your case, but in my case I don't think my grandparents even know what "gay" is, and certainly would never approve if they did, they're just obsessed with family and tradition and carrying on the family name and all that. My father on the other hand, frequently reminds me that I need to get a wife and kids, just as a way of re-iterating that it's not okay to be gay and so I better just be straight, ever since he saw the rainbow flag in my dorm room. I agree though it really is insulting and bothersome that when you've never really had a girlfriend or expressed any interest in girls by the time you're in your late teens, family figures somehow still assume you are straight and interested in girls. Perhaps they are fearful you might be gay and want to confirm that you are straight. In other cases, they just really are naive and ignorant and cannot put 2 and 2 together. But don't let them get to you, just brush it off, it's not their place to demand you talk about your private romantic life if you don't want to talk about it.
Well, people want you to be honest with them. It shows that they care about you even when it's done in a way that makes you feel like it's more of a witch hunt. I notice you say that you're asexual, I don't know about that, but if you feel that's true, just say no one has my interest right now. And if you do it in a way that says, "leave me the hell alone" then people will eventually stop asking.
I know the feeling, Everytime i go anywhere now i hear "Try to meet some cute girls"... It pisses me off.
I don't get it as much as I used to. My mom doesn't go there, but her friends have. One time, this one lady was sitting at the breakfast nook, and I was there, and she said that I have to find a girlfriend who is "tall and thin ... tall and thin." Since this lady is shallow to begin with and reliably says stupid stuff, concepts like personality and brains didn't figure into the equation. I just ignored her. I always have.
Thank you all for your answers. Lol if I say "no one has my interest" it's like I said "I'm gay everyone!" , they start making more intimate questions like "don't you get aroused by women? don't you need to fulfill your needs at your age? just be sure to use a condom we wouldn't want you to leave a girl pregnant!" My grandparents know what gay is and they see it as Satan's minions or something. They're not just against it they're disgusted by it. It's like I'm not even sending them signals trying to tell them something, I just never talk about my personal life to them, but they always bring up this subject... and they see how awkward it makes me feel but still they insist. Luckily I'm moving out for uni next month so a bit of alone time should make me feel better..at least I hope so!
I know how living at home and being in the closet can be infuriating, I went through it myself. Like you said your headed to University next month, so hang in there. Once you are out on your own and you can explore your own identity your parents opinions don't matter as much. LOL, and my dad still points out the cute girls when he and I are together, I won't bother you as much, Hell you'll even laugh at it.
