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Coming out letter. Here goes.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AwesomGaytheist, Aug 30, 2013.

  1. AwesomGaytheist

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    Mom and Dad,

    This is my fourth day away, and I've got something on my mind that I think I should share with you.

    I got your email yesterday and I understand why you're concerned. I'll address that one first. None of that came with me. The contents of that box are in a landfill somewhere. I threw it away about a week before I left.

    The next thing I'm going to tell you is something I've dreaded you finding out for the last four years. I'm gay.

    Yes, I said it. I'm gay. I have a feeling you guys might have already figured that one out, but I think that what you found yesterday might have given you some mixed signals, and so I wanted to clear that up. This is also the reason I didn't join in making inappropriate comments about every girl you saw, Dad.

    I know you're probably thinking of what happened 4 years ago. (which is something I will not be talking about publicly.) That was about 4 or 5 months before I realized I like men.

    I hope that my being honest about something so personal and private, even after you found something that was really private, will at least help our relationship.

    Take care,

    AG.

    P.S. Enclosed is the $17 for the book I had to get a refund on. They couldn't refund it to the credit card without the actual card, so they gave me cash.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Looks good! Good luck with it, I hope they respond in at least a semi-pleasant way :slight_smile:
     
  3. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Oh man. Sending this today? Best of luck. Here's hoping it goes well.
     
  4. AwesomGaytheist

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    Notice that I didn't mention the fact that I have a boyfriend...who I live with. Is it a good idea not to mention this in the letter?
     
  5. BookDragon

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    That depends on your point of view. On the one hand you get it all out in the open, on the other you throw a whole load of stuff at them you already know they aren't going to take well...

    It might make them realise you're not taking the piss or saying it for shock value, or it might make them go nuts! Personally I'd stick it in because I know how MY mum would react if I just said it without some sort of proof (I don't think she appreciates the irony of this) but it depends how you think yours will takeit
     
  6. AwesomGaytheist

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    I'm not sending ANYTHING today. This is a life-changing thing for everyone involved and I'm just making sure I do it right.
     
  7. Carpe Noctem

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    Nice. I'd save the boyfriend card for when they say "are you sure of your choice maybe you are just curious maybe you are just exploring blablabla" , and that would be TMI on ONE letter; let them digest the first info you gave and then give them more if they ask.
     
  8. greatwhale

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    Perfect letter: nice and simple!

    I would delay revelations about your boyfriend for now, you need to gauge their reaction first, and then think through, based on their reaction, how this will affect Brendan if it is less than positive.

    They may figure it out on their own, anyway.

    Best of luck!
     
  9. Adi

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    Don't you think you should focus solely on the gay thing in this letter, and leave the other stuff for another time? You're letter's like. "I found the shirt you were looking for. Silly me, I accidentally packed it. Oh, by the way, I'm gay. Ok, so I'll send you the shirt in the mail. That OK?"
     
  10. AwesomGaytheist

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    Did you read about the email he sent me yesterday? It was about how he found our condoms (Some used that I forgot to take care of before I left. Silly me.), and the box that our sex toy came in.
     
  11. Hexagon

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    That reminds me of this TV show I saw when this guy came out to his parents, then tacked onto the end "Oh, and I have a son. Forgot to mention that." Sorry :slight_smile:. I think its best to leave the bf part until later.

    It seems good. Giving your parents money is a good way to soften the blow as well :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:. I hope they take it well. I think coming out to parents is almost always awkward, even if they totally accept you.
     
  12. Adi

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    Nope, I did not. You threw away your sextoy??? What sex toy was it? :grin:
     
  13. Tightrope

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    Ok. I wouldn't either. You seem to want closure on this issue. I think your parents already know. Parents may or may not be in denial, but they know. They found the "Costco-sized" box of condoms you once mentioned and, if they know Brendan is your roommate at college, well then, what more needs to be said ... for the meantime.

    This is something that can be handled in steps, on your vacations, school breaks, and over the summers. If they get this letter now, you can get heated e-mails and phone calls from them that you don't need to be getting as school is getting going, especially in your freshman year. For now, focus on school.
     
  14. AwesomGaytheist

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    We decided back in April to buy a vagina sleeve. That was fun for a bit, but when it came time to move away, I thought it was time to get rid of it so nobody would see. I was sure I had thrown away that box. I had put the box in a shoebox and I thought I had pitched that a while back.

    Boy he must have gotten a shock seeing the "Piper's Pretty P***y" box.
     
  15. Adi

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    Two gay guys. 1 vagina sleeve. :lol:

    And why would that concern them? Surely they couldn't have thought you were gay based on that.
     
  16. AwesomGaytheist

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    Well they've gotten mixed signals, pretty much because I was completely straight from the time I started puberty until I was 14. When I hit high school, I never, ever talked about anybody I liked, never had a girlfriend, never did anything like that, and my dad was all worried.

    I was really, really antisocial in middle school, as a result of being bullied. In high school, however, my sense of humor was my biggest asset. Once I let my humor come out to be seen, and I started talking to people, almost everybody loved me and wanted to be around me, and those that didn't didn't dare mess with me because I had no problem humiliating you in front of everybody around at the moment.

    Now my parents wouldn't know that, considering I never talk to them about anything, and my dad still thinks I'm this stand-off-ish, never-talk-to-anyone-under-any-circumstances guy with absolutely no sense of humor.

    Now in high school, he'd always go and ask me if I was interested in any girls, and I'd deflect the question by saying, "They're all taken" or something like that, and I wouldn't ever talk about that subject unless asked about it.

    My mom on the other hand got a taste of my humor every now and then. We'd come across a picture of my grandparents from about 14 years ago, back when my grandfather was still alive. My grandma had an old lady type afro that she was dying brown at the time, and I said to my mom, "I always thought she looked younger with her hair that way, before she hit it with a weed whacker."

    The point is, my parents don't know the person I really am. You guys know me and how I am. When I'm at home with them, I guess I behave the way I would at work: professional, and you don't talk about your personal life.

    ______________________

    I actually just got off the phone with my dad and he didn't seem upset. He wanted to know if my ticket for tonight's slaughter at Michigan State had come in the mail (which it hadn't, and I wasn't going to be able to make it anyway.) So maybe I'm overthinking this.
     
  17. Fairylink

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    I hope it goes well!
     
  18. Rakkaus

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    Oh my, scary stuff, but it's good that you're thinking everything through and getting other opinions to make sure you do this right. Don't rush into coming out until you're absolutely ready. But we're here for you to help you through! :slight_smile:
     
  19. KyleD

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    That is an empowering letter! Kudos! You hit the mark with it. :slight_smile:
     
  20. Dragonbait

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    No friggin way! I have a very good friend (who is a lesbian) whose name is Piper. No wonder her partner initially got turned down for her vanity plate "PIPERUP". I wonder if she knows gay men are getting off on her pretty _____! :roflmao: OMG, I can't wait to tell her! (!)