Is this the right section? Feel free to move it, if it's not! So, I'm discovering the downside to being a lipstick lesbian. I've started coming out to my friends and am on my way to being out at my high school. My problem lies in that no one takes my sexuality seriously. They can't see past my side bangs and long hair to accept my identity :dry: I could literally be wearing a shirt that says LESBIAN on it, and they'd still congratulate me on "being so supportive of the LGBT community!" Has anyone else experienced ignorance in the form of 'but you're too straight to be gay'? How do you respond to people who doubt your sexuality? I'm never sure how to respond when my big huge scary coming out moments are met with laughter. :icon_sad:
When I came out. I did it by telling people I had a boyfriend. Some of them said things like your too straight to be gay, like with you. But other said, but your homophobic. I constantly make Gay jokes. And for a while some people didnt think I was telling the truth. But slipping in a couple of jokes, and saying i live cock too. They shortly got it. I suppose I am trying to say. If whats happening now isn't working, try a more forward approach. And congrats on coming out to some people.
Ignore them. It's not something you need to go out and prove, hell you didn't even have to let them know. Unless they start trying to set you up with random guys or something then don't worry about it.
Go to school dressed like a truck driver. Amble down the school hallway, and when all eyes are on you, stop, take in the crowd, and scream: "NOW do you people believe me?"
First, there's plenty of femmesbians. So many so that their existance shouldn't be doubted. I'm sorry you need to go through that. I've experienced something like "but you're too straight to be gay!" in the form of "but you're too girly, I never would have guessed you felt like a guy! Are you sure?? How do you know??" Well, thanks a lot for making me self-conscious you inconsiderate twit... Then there's also, "but don't you like guys??" Which I don't even have the words for. There's none. If I knew how to respond to the sort of "Come on, you're joking, you can't be ______" response to coming out, I'd tell you, but I'm as lost as you are. I'm almost more blown away when people just trust me on the matter, though it does make things easier - I feel like I don't need to try and defend myself so much.
I'm new to this forum and I'm GLAD this is one of the first posts I've seen because I identify to it SO MUCH!! I'm a 20 year old feminine girl and I haven't come out yet because I know that I'm going to be in the same dilemma. None of my friends will ever believe that I like girls because I'm just far too "straight" in their eyes. I honestly don't even know how to go about telling them because I seriously don't want them to take it as a joke, when it's genuinely something really important. I think it's important to remember that when people generally don't know how to react, they will laugh. If they're your friends they won't be laughing AT you, only at what they think you're saying. If I'm met with laughter, I won't get offended, but I WILL reinforce that I'm serious. I think they'll quickly get the message (I HOPE!!!) I'm totally with you on this one though, it's not easy if you don't have "lesbian" tattooed on your forehead!! Big hugs x
