Well, I had this all typed out, but my silly iPad deleted it all. Hooray. Anyway, I'm a fairly new member, and I've posted a thread here before. And now I've got another question or two to ask of you all. Basically, I'm becoming more sure of my sexual orientation every day. I still doubt it, and I still sometimes get extremely confused by it all. But I do feel about 95% sure that I am, indeed, gay. Of course, I'm not going to rush and put a label on it, however much I'd like to. As you guys have already suggested, I'll try to give it time. Despite this, I feel the need to confide in someone about my questioning. The reason why I want to discuss this with a real, flesh person is... unclear. All I know is that I feel somewhat dishonest right now, and that I am not being my whole, true self. Of course, that's probably untrue. Yet I feel like maybe confiding in her (I have a specific person in mind) could help. She knows gay people, is very supportive of LGBTQ, is a relative... All of that good stuff. And I know she cares about me, and I've never heard a homophobic thing come out of her mouth, even though she does have a very homophobic, transphobic, almost everything phobic family. And I feel like expressing these thoughts to her may help clear my head, and maybe she'll know people I can talk to, or give me her two cents, or something. And I have a good opportunity to confide in her tomorrow and Monday. You see, she's coming over for a sleepover. I rarely have friends/family over, and even rarely do they spend the night. And I'm looking forward to spending time with her. Last time she came, I think I put her in our spare room. This time around, though, she wants to share my bed with me. And I don't know if she'd be offput by me telling her about all this when we're just about to bunk together, even if we are family. Obviously you don't know her, but... Is there any purpose in telling anybody at all, at this stage? And if so, is this the wrong time to talk to her about it? At night, in my room, is probably the only fairly sure time and place I can think of when we wouldn't be overheard. Even if I were absolutely, 100% sure of my orientation, I wouldn't come out to my family just yet. But with this particular person, who is outside of my immediate family, I feel safer. If you have anything to say, I'd really appreciate it. I apologize for any typos; I wrote this on a mobile device. Thank you for taking the time to read through this, and I wish you a great day.
If you're comfortable talking about it with her and you don't think it's going to seriously mess things up and you can trust her not to tell anyone then why not. You can tell the whole internet your problems but sometimes having someone in front of you that you know and trust to say "yeah that's just fine!" and give you a hug is what you need. But you need to decide just what effect it might have between you and whether its worth the risk!
If you feel like you're ready to tell someone about the way you've been feeling, don't hesitate to do so. Her reaction may not be what you expected or wanted, but you may regret not taking advantage of the opportunity if you don't get that one-on-one time very often. She's family and she sounds very comfortable with people of the LGBTQ community, so my honest opinion is that despite your discomfort, I believe she'll be a great person to talk to, and a way to lift the weight of a secret off your chest. Best of luck!
Thank you, both of you, for replying. I read your replies before she arrived at my home, and I was quite prepared to speak to her about it. I even had several conversation starters that could lead me to, well, what I really wanted to say. And I had one or two great opportunities to do so. Despite this, I choked, and like you said, I kinda regret it, haha. But there will always be other opportunities; it ain't the end of the world. She seems to lack knowledge on the subject, but also seemed very understanding. I have another family member whose views are quite the opposite of hers, and I brought them up. Her reaction only assured me that she is likely a very safe person to confide in. Still, if I keep thinking about it, I don't know if I want to take the chance of it reaching my parents, or even worse, the other family member I mentioned in the last paragraph. If I were to confide in this particular relative, I severely doubt it would reach my parents. But there is still a risk. Anyway, I had a couple questions to ask, but I'm sure I can find the answers by going through more of the threads here. If there's something else I gotta say, I'll put it here. Even though nothing happened, thanks for replying! I appreciate it.
