I hear the truths about ourselves are hardest to accept. I've been treading over shallow water, avoiding any depth. For what person might I find if I puncture the surface? I want to be happy, just not so sure I'm worth it. Though I'm not worth feeling small, or less than someone else. Not worth all the questions, the doubting of myself. I've tried to hide this person, I've denied my own existence, But this want has grown too strong, can't beat my own persistence. It sure makes me uncomfortable, the love I can't deny. I'm just scared once I confide, their love for me will die. At first it was barely there but my confidence has grown. I would rather take this risk, than chance being alone. Took me quite a while to learn what these feelings mean And I needed to let go of the girl I could have been. I'm sick of being lost and shadowed in the dark. When I feel another's touch, I want to see a spark. Despite living in a world of segregation Everybody has the right to feel infatuation. It takes some time to realize there are things we can't control Such as the pigment of our skin and the preference of our soul. The leaders of our nation to whom we always bowed Will soon be overruled by this ever growing crowd. One person may be stopped, but certainly not a nation Joined together through honest passion, evoking inspiration. We're a lot stronger together than we ever are alone. What better place to be supported than the walls of my own home? To religion, I'm a flaming child of Satan Metaphorically, hair impossible to straighten But to me - I'm free, alive and true And I hope still equally as loved by you.
I confess that, I, myself, don't much like poetry, but that's not bad. To offer criticism, both literary, and if this is how you're thinking about coming out to your folks, I think you go off topic a touch when you expand it to the national level. Not that it's unimportant, but not to the point at hand. If this is for your parents, then write it for your parents. What can you say that will impress upon them that what you're saying is true? You also might consider tightening it up; As an exercise, maybe try to get it to 1/3 less lines. The clarity of writing often improves when we get to the point. Also, what about grouping thoughts and separating them with line breaks? If this is for your parents (or others) to read, it may help them reference your various points. On the other hand, if you simply wrote this for yourself about what you want to tell them, never mind anything I said. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
rudo - Thanks very much for your comment, and thank you for reading! I appreciate the literary criticism because I rarely get it from the people around me, and will definitely take what you said into consideration while I make a "good copy" of the piece for my loved ones. I hadn't exactly planned on showing them that, but figured it would be a decent way to start getting down some of the things I want to say.
