Okay here's my story: I lived most of my life in a homophobic city in Florida where even saying the word the gay before I even thought being it made me feel bad. It was around 6th grade that I finally started questioning my sexuality. The following year me and my parents moved to a far more liberal city. I finally came to terms with my sexuality about 6 months ago in the middle of 8th grade. During my discovery I watched a lot of ahem... explicit material both gay and straight. My parents discovered it. They never discussed it with me, they just set up online parental controls. I never get on the computer anymore because the parental controls are homophobic and block out any use of gay. I've had to use my phone to type this. So at the very least my parents know I've seen two guys getting it on and have at least partially enjoyed it. I know for a fact my father would support me if I came out to him (in fact, on some days I think he might have some surpressed gay feelings himself). I also would feel fine with telling his sister. I don't know how the old members of my dad's side would react but their old so I really don't care. My mother's side is a different story. My mother is the most progressive member of her family. Her family is mostly made of racist teabaggers who talk about Jesus like he's their next-door neighbour. I've never heard them say anything about homosexuality (good or bad). But that side of the family is filled with deep racism and hates people who aren't Christians. It's almost certain most of them hate gays. My mother has slowly seperated herself from them to the point that she voted for Obama last year. However she still shows signs of her family's hatred. I remember about a year or 2 ago we were watching What Would You Do and they had an episode about a gay couple who got kicked out of a restraunt (can actually happen in several states) after they kissed each other. I remember my mother saying something along the lines of "I don't want to see 2 gay men kiss in public". She has moved from that I believe as she loves Modern Family and didn't say anything bad when DOMA was overturned. I am scared though as my mother can get violent when she gets emotional. And she's almost certain to tell everyone else in the family. My father would also probably tell my mom after I told him. As for friends, I'm slowly moving away from my homophobic friends from Florida. I just started high school and know no one. I'm not into sports or drama and the only club that strikes my attention is the GSA club (I know, I'm lucky). I'd like to get to know some people going through similiar experiences but I think would become obvious for my parents why I would be going. I feel like I need to come out soon in order to make any friends at this point. Any help? I'm sorry if it seems like too much but I've really needed to get it out my system.
Hello. I know a bit of what you're going through. I'm also just started high school. Although I live in a very gay-friendly environment, I have to hide my feelings for girls from my father. He's slightly homophobic and very judgmental of people in general. My parents are divorced and my relationship with him hangs by thread as it is. Now, to answer your questions, don't come out because you feel you have to. Come out because you feel you are ready. If you really do feel as if you should come out to someone, come out to some new friends at school. If you feel like you can't wait that long, get in touch with your counselor and talk to them about it. Also, you should probably wait to come out to your family if it could put you in physical danger. How does the GSA at your school work? Because the way it's set up at mine, you meet at lunch so you don't even have to tell your parents.
#1 rule of coming out: If being gay will put you in danger, don't do it. #1 reality of being gay: closets SUCK. You have your dad's support, which is awesome! Halfway there. Your madre does not sound like the type to go ballistic and kick you out/send you to straight camp, but you never know. If she has a homophobic background, her immediate shock reaction could be very, very, very bad. However, modern family is a good sign! I suggest you test the waters: talk about a "friend" who's dating another boy and how cool you think it is that they are so open about it. Gauge her reaction, just so you know what her recent attitude toward homosexuality is. I recommend coming out to your dad, first, and having him there when you tell her, just in case! Yes, homophobia is still out there, but sometimes, people can surprise you Good luck!!!!!
I completely understand, I guess my story is a bit similar to yours actually. But my parents found out by reading my (rather inappropriate, I must admit) text messages between me and another girl. So they know. But they've never said anything to me other than. "Here's your phone. You've had an, ah, very interesting conversation with *her name*" I was so humiliated I locked myself in my room for about a month, only coming out to eat dinner and go to school. And even now, on the rare occasion that I'll bring it up, they will quickly change the subject. *sigh* I guess I'm okay with that though. I've come out to a group of close friends, and they were all accepting. Anyway. Only you will know when you're ready to come out, and if you do it might be a bit easier to talk to your parents about things. But only do it if you're sure you'll be safe. You may want to start a casual conversation to find out their actual opinions on things such as Marriage Equality.
It's after school hours so my parents would have to come and pick me up afterwards :/ Thanks for all the support everyone!
