So. College is in a month and I'm making arrangements in order to live as male on campus. All that remains is to decide when to come out to family. The situation: - I live at home with parents and don't plan on moving out for at least one more year - Parents are mildly transphobic but I chalk it up moreso to undereducation about trans* issues and my own anxiety over anything - Dysphoria's getting worse, along with my depression and anxiety. I was going to wait to come out to family until winter term but since I'll be openly male on campus (and currently rely on family for transportation because of no license and lack of public transport) and am paranoid something's going to slip or it'll be impossible to keep leading a double life. Though rationally, because I'm still dependent on parents (not for tuition, I've got financial aid), the best idea would be to wait until I'm on my own. So I'm a bit rushed for time but input and advice would be appreciated. Need to figure out when it's best to come out at this point... Thanks
When you say they are transphobic do you mean that they won't understand or that they will flat-out hate you for it?
They tolerate transpeople to a degree (but overall undereducated about what being trans* means or that it's not a "sex change") but I'm expecting something along the lines of "Oh god, not my daughter! My daughter's not a tranny!" reaction from them. I'm sure they'll come around, despite whatever knee jerk reactions are set to happen.
Just like my mum! Ugh! Well on the one hand if you dont need them to support you financially then at least you;re moving out shortly...and if they dont mind you can be YOU earlier
If this is the case, then maybe try finding a good time between now and the end of the year. Since you have decided and are making arrangements to live as a male on campus, take some time build a support network there. If your parents need some time to come around to it, at least you will have a support network to fall back on. Given that you are relying on your parents financially, and need their support, I would suggest that you try rephrasing your coming out letter even more then, and try to place the emphasis entirely on you, and use language that conveys an understanding on your part that they might have a difficult time to come around to it at first, but you are willing to help them to understand you.
Yeah, I'll see about adding that in. I'm working on revising the letter, since it seems more of a personal tone will be needed. I was thinking that since I'd be open as male on campus, a month or two would be adequate time to build the support, get settled, and if it turns out I'm going to be forced to become independent because of the news, there's time to figure out where to go, what to do before the start of winter term (January). Thanks. Here's hoping...
