When my mom found out I was gay she told me that I was lying to myself and that I should be a kid and not worry about it so I got a girlfriend to make her happy yet I'm secretly dating my boyfriend I don't know what to do cause I'm afraid she will find out
Its fine to not tell her about your boyfriend if she will react poorly; however, I would strongly recommend that you do no try to get 'girlfriends' to appease her. Doing this is only going to fuel her belief that this is all a phase and you will eventually settle down with a woman in the future. You've done your part and came out to her. Now I would just go on ignoring all of the judgemental things she says and a day will come that she will get sick of saying them.
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets. It seems that your mom has a difficult time with it, hence her comment that you have been lying to yourself. Be yourself, so that your mom has a chance to come around, and help her to adjust her dreams and her understandings of what the future is going to look like. I agree with Gen, that getting a girlfriend to make her happy, will not give her the chance to begin to accept it, as it would help to feed into her dreams for you. Also, if you think about it, you are not being fair to yourself, to your boyfriend or to your 'girlfriend.' It is possible that you might lose your boyfriend at some point over this. Why? I would suggest that you give her some educational material to read and to think about. PFLAG has some really good resources on their website, including Our Daughters and Sons, you might want to check out. You are the best person to 'educate' your mom.
Does your girlfriend know that she's just a beard? Because it's really uncool (using a nice term here) of you if you're leading her on. And as Gen said, if the fact that your mom doesn't believe you're gay is troubling you, getting a fake girlfriend and pretending to be straight certainly won't help your case in the future. She'll have ammunition ("BUT you do like girls. Remember X, the girl you dated?") and you shouldn't be providing her with that.
