My girlfriend of 4 years and myself have both decided that it was high time we told each of our families that we were together and both of us were in fact identifying ourselves as gay. We both have extremely homophobic families. We are not sure how to deal with it or how to come out to them. I have a feeling that there are members on both sides that will completely shun us both. I don't know if either of us can live without our families, because we are both very family oriented. The thing is I know that I could live without them before I could live without her. I have been in love with this girl for so long and I am extremely happy with her. And I know she's happy with me. I'm just afraid that losing our families will take a huge toll on our relationship. If there's anyone out there with some advice on how to tell our families then please help me.
My initial coming out to my family wasn't positive. My partner had paved the way and her father, sisters and aunt especially were very warm, inviting, happy and receptive that it was a shock to then receive so much despair and venom from my own. My sisters were kind and loving, but it took my parents a long time... I'm not entirely sure they actually ever accepted it. My only advice, seeing as you both feel your families will not be receptive to this news is to first see if there is a family member that would be. Is there an extended family member or sibling whom you can confide in first? To be an ally when you sit family down to tell them? It is definitely something you want to have a plan for, because as much as you would have each other I am sure you would prefer as many of your respective families to be close to you.
