Hi I'm new to this forum and I just wondered if anyone would have any advice they could give me. I'm a 21 year old female questioning whether or not I'm lesbian. I'm sure everyone will have heard the classic story of knowing they were different from a young age but not knowing why, that's basically how it was for me also. I had my first 'girl crush' when I was 14, it was a friend that I was introduced to through another friend and things always seemed different with her. When she finally came out as gay, that's when things started to click and I realised I fancied her. She got a girlfriend and I started to feel weird around her and we lost touch. I put everything to the back of my mind until a few years ago when I started questioning again. Over the past few months I have come to the conclusion that I must be gay but there is still some doubt in my mind and I don't know why. I was going to talk to my close friend about it but I'm worried that maybe I'm not gay and I will look stupid if I say I am then it turns out I'm not. Any advice would be greatly welcomed. Thanks
Well if you have solidified your attraction to women, then it is really only a matter of how you feel about men. If you aren't attracted to men, or at least do not find yourself drawn to them at this moment, then I don't see any reason why you should fear considering yourself a lesbian. Everyone goes through moments of doubt in their early stages of acceptance. Orientation isn't something that we can touch or quantify. It is only truly a simple way for people explain their current attractions. Just relax. The important part is that you accept yourself regardless of what you are. True feelings of attraction don't often shift to drastic ends over time; it is usually only a matter of someone recognizing or suppressing who they are that arises confusions. If you believe you are being honest to yourself and letting your nature lead the way, then there is nothing more to be certain of.
