My best friend (idk about that...) told me that. It was a while ago, and we were on the phone. I know I whine a little more than I should...I'm single..yeah...and I'm getting better at keeping it to myself. Anyway, we were talking about guys at our school, she's on the track team so she sees them all shirtless. I was done talking and I said "man...single sucks..." And then she said it. "If you'd change, you would be happier." I told her straight out that wasn't a cool thing to say. I said not to act like being straight is all flowers and sunshine. Now she said she was kidding, but..whats the name for it...gahh it slips my mind, but theres a word that means you SAY you were kidding...but you weren't. When she said it, there wasn't a hint of "jk" in her voice, she was serious. Now to my problem. (if you read this far, thank you) It's the end of the school year. (we're gonna be juniors in high school next year) and she keeps trying to talk to me, but I don't want to talk to her, I just don't feel like I can trust her now. It puts a knot in my stomach when I talk to her. I don't flat out say "Don't talk to me" or "Get away" I just act like I'm studying for finals, etc.. etc... My question is, should I just get over this little comment? Am I just overreacting? Thanks Guys. Maybe it's just stress from my finals getting to me. :lol:
I think you have every right to be upset. Everyone has problems. After I got out of relationships with guys, listening to the radio about gay-bashing, anything related to gay, I've had people tell me that this might be a sign that I should change. And that's the most asinine thing I've heard. I avoid people who tell me things like that. I think you need to tell her that she said something that broke your level of comfortability level with her. Most likely, she will apologize, try to see it from your point of view, and ultimately, understand and accept. Some of the people I've told have said they don't accept what I said, and just kinda left my life. Others are the friends I hold much closer.
Sarcasm? Anyways, it seems that her comment just "slipped," so I really wouldn't stress myself out if I were you. Still, that doesn't mean that it was the most appropriate thing to say at the moment and she will notice that it wasn't. Right now, being the end of the year and all, you shouldn't stress yourself out even more than you should normally be :dry:, so just keep cool. :icon_wink
She probably - although not definitely - means well. And there are a lot of people who think (incorrectly) that being gay is a choice, and if we wanted to, we could just be straight. I generally try to educate these people that no, that isn't the case. Not in an angry "you're so stupid" sort of way, but calmly and logically. She probably WAS just trying to help. But if you don't want to talk to her for awhile, that's fine. Just be very short with your answers, and bow out of the conversations as soon as you can. Lex
I think her comment was more insensitive than anything else and I don't get the feeling she said it to be mean. In her defence (as a straight person myself) it is almost impossible to imagine everything that gay people go through before accepting themselves and coming out and living their lives freely. I hadn't got a clue until I came here and had long talks with my son, so don't be too hard on her. She needs you to educate her. So yes maybe somewhere inside her she thinks that your homosexuality is a choice, help her to see and understand that this is not the case, you will get your friend back and she will become a better, more tolerant and understanding person in the process.
I would let her know how you feel. It sounds like she is a good friend and will likely let you know she is sorry. Good friends are hard to come by, and I would hate for you to lose a good one becuase of something that may be no more than a careless comment that was not thought through before it was spoken.
I don't think you friend meant any harm. Sometimes we just say things without giving much thought to them and yes sometimes it takes a while for the person who said it to realize it. True it is careless of her to make such as a statement but I wouldn't necessarily stop talking to her. As the previous posts suggest, it is possible that she thinks that homosexuality is a choice. You could continue talking to her and maybe tell her that it is not. Hope this helps!
Aw shit, I have the same kind of thing that my coursemates told me. It's pretty insensitive and annoying! He told me I was stupid. Then in my mind, I whispered, "Lame-O"!! Sometimes I hated those chauvinistic straights. They think they have everything in this world. They are too complacent.
I'd get over it - if she really is a friend, it is unlikely she meant any harm. Of course, a good response to anyone who says something like that (assuming she did mean 'change your sexuality') would be "OK, well you change yourself to gay - and then tell me how you managed to make yourself have feelings for the same sex. Then let me know how you did it - and maybe I can too (but I don't think you'll be able to help me...it ISN'T something you can choose)".
even though it was a little comment it was still a pretty serious thing to say. i think you should talk to her. get to the bottom of what her issue is and how she really feels about her sexuality. the fact that shes trying to talk to you shows she wants to be your friend. dont be too hasty and through your friendship away for nothing..
