I'm a woman and I've known for a decade that I'm only interested in women. But I had a long relationship with a guy (even tho I wasn't attracted to him-basically I was lonely). And I've never had a relationship with a woman. Is it even ok to identify as gay then? Would lesbians have trouble getting over my past relationship with a man? I've avoided all relationships for so long I just don't know how to approach the topic, or where to meet other lesbians. Thank you. :help:
Of course it is okay. Ultimately, you like women, and that should be enough for someone. There are some lesbians who identify as 'gold star lesbian', and only date other gold star lesbians, who basically haven't dated/slept with a guy. Honestly, I think that is a load of bull. If you want to identify as gay, you can. There is nothing to stop you, especially past relationships. If you find a woman and they question it, just say exact what you wrote in your post - you weren't attracted to him and were just lonely. As for meeting women, I'm stuck on that too, so I can't be much help. Have you considered looking if there is any lesbian bars or LGBT support groups near where you live?
Same experience, though my relationship was only about a year/year and a half. I'm sure any sensible lover wouldn't mind it, at all; it was a past relationship, without attraction. You're giving your love to them, in the there and now. You're not fixated on the past. You also don't have to have been with a woman to identify as gay
Keep it honest when you find yourself in your next relationship. Whilst it is in the past, open communication is so vital from the start. You don't have to have ever been in a relationship to understand your preferences and if a future partner can not understand how you feel now and appreciate you now, then they aren't worth it
