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Would it be good to talk with a teacher/ guidance counselor?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by 143kc, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. 143kc

    143kc
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    Coming out to my mom and 2 friends a few weeks ago was very difficult and stressful for me.... And it still is. Although my friends took it great, my mom took it significantly worse than I had anticipated. It's not at a point where she would kick me out or not "love" me anymore, but she thinks I'm not telling the truth and believes that my coming out further would be like the plague. (She is beyond terrified that my friends are going to spill "my secret"), and every time I'm alone with her and even with others around, she finds a way to taunt me with "my secret". So, to the point of the question, there is a teacher I adore/super trust... But she is Christian.. And also quite "moral", while also being one of the most accepting/caring/helpful people I've ever met. She is my coach and looks at me like a daughter, so I want to tell her.... But would it be out of place? I just feel like I need a trusted adult/person to vent too about my troubles with being gay.... I'm just scared that she would make me talk with my guidance counselor, which may not be too bad, but I'm a very anxious person and goody-2-shoes, so going to guidance for me is way out of my comfort zone. With every will I have I am trying to be brave, and strong, but sometimes one stupid anti-gay comment/ judgement will set me off. Everything I have read makes it seem like telling a teacher is a bad idea, but I'm a bit desperate!


    Thanks for reading!
     
    #1 143kc, Sep 4, 2013
  2. igoloo2946

    igoloo2946
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    I came out to my counseler, in fact she was the first person I told. I just honestly needed some one to talk to about certain things. She didn't really give me any useful advice, but it felt good walking out of her room knowing that I just came out for my first time, this is what gave me the courage to come out to others.

    I came out to a teacher too who was a very religouse christian, and she didn't care and she still loved me. Also even if your teacher doubts you like your mom, she cannot make you go to a guidance counseler. Try not to tell your mom every person you come out to because she might just get more upset, especialy if she knew one of them is a teacher.

    God bless
     
    #2 igoloo2946, Sep 4, 2013
  3. TheMailman

    TheMailman
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    Being moral and religious does in no way mean anti-gay.
    She seems like she would take it well. I think you should tell her.
     
    #3 TheMailman, Sep 5, 2013
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    I'm sorry about the way your mom is handling the situation. You might consider talking to her and saying "I'm not feeling at all supported or loved. In fact, I'm feeling judged, and it would be really nice if you could stop attacking me and accept me for who I am." Sometimes, conversations like that can "snap" the person into reality.

    As for your teacher, if you want to be cautious, I'd talk to a guidance counselor first rather than the teacher. While your teacher will hopefully be supportive, it's always a little hard to tell with people with strong Christian beliefs. Also, if she views you as a daughter, she might initially feel disappointed, and given that you need strong support right now, I think I'd be more inclined to come out to her *after* you have someone else in your corner. The guidance counselor should be less attached to the situation, and therefore more objective in ability to support you unconditionally.
     
    #4 Chip, Sep 5, 2013
  5. 143kc

    143kc
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    Thanks for the advice! I have decided that I will tell my teacher (most likely on Monday or later in the week), and then possibly the guidance counselor in a couple weeks (I do not know her well, but I am joining a club that she is running which will have a 2 day training session, so I feel after that I will be able to trust her more). In the past few days my mom has been a bit better (not supportive, but at least she isn't bringing it up), so I think I will be fine for school.
     
    #5 143kc, Sep 6, 2013
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