Hey everyone! This is my first time posting here. I first realized I was gay when I was 16, and I accepted it, and just kept it to myself for a couple of years. High school wasn't too bad for me. There were several openly gay people, and I had a few friends. I came out to one of my closest friends in senior year, and she took it just fine. The summer right after I graduated high school, my mom had a talk with me one night. She said I seemed to be acting like I was hiding something and asked me if I was gay, and I told her I thought I was. She didn't take it well, and said im just confused because I hadn't dated anybody, and suggested I date women. My dad didn't take it as well either. They didnt yell or anything, they just got upset and said they disapprove of me being gay. The next day, she told me she felt like she "lost her son", and this broke my heart. I went to my room and just started bawling. I know who I am and I knew the road to acceptance would be hard to achieve. I just figured a few years later I would naturally become more comfortable with myself despite how my parents feel. Fast forward 3 years later, and I'm feeling trapped. I've been going through a roller coaster of emotions lately, and I've become more withdrawn. I went to college just to take some of the basics, but left last year because I couldn't focus and was feeling anxious. I don't see my friends as often as I used to. I feel like I'm never going to be out and proud with who I am, and I sometimes feel like my life is over. I used to be a much happier person and strong-willed, but I see my old self fading into someone who is more insecure. Ive lost interest in a lot of things and i just feel numb most of the time, as if nothing matters anymore. I don't want to be this way, I keep trying to hold on but it gets tougher as each day goes by. :icon_sad:
