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Coming Out to Family....Oh Boy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SlytherinGirl, Sep 5, 2013.

  1. SlytherinGirl

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    So, I've decided to come out to my first family member. And I am incredibly nervous about it, constant anxiety. Even so, I woke up this morning feeling really confident about doing this. The only thing I can't figure out is why I am picking this person for my first family member. My mom and I have always had a very antagonistic relationship unfortunately. But now I am living with her, and for some reason I think she will take it well. I just have this gut feeling. I hope I'm not wrong, because I would hate to have the first family coming out experience to be negative.

    I guess I feel the most anxious about what I am coming out as. Being completely honest, there is a distinct lack of information about Bisexuals out there. Even worse, there are all kinds of ranging from ignorant to hateful comments that have been made about my oreintation. Given all of that, I am nervous that I will have a lack of validation from my mom like I have had from others. I don't want to hear, "It's just a phase, you'll get over it." or' "You are just a half baked lesbian." I've heard bother before, from straight and gay people around me.

    I hope it goes well, but I really could use some different perspectives on this. Thanks.:confused:
     
  2. Bryar Thorne

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    If you have a gut feeling it will go well, then you're most likely right about that. I came out to my mom whom I had a long going horrible relationship with at the time when I was 11 about liking a girl and exploring being bisexual. She reacted rather shocked at first and said she was worried it was a phase but eventually came around to tell me that no matter what, she always supports me. Sometimes people react with shock at first and don't always realize what they say can be hurtful sometimes.. But from what it sounds like, if you feel it will go well, then you should go for it. :slight_smile: Have you brought up the orientation to her before and seen what she has to say on it? That could help shed some light to a possible reaction.
     
  3. BookDragon

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    Well if you get either of those comments, just make sure you tell them that you're not going to force yourself to be fully gay just because they don't understand the difference!

    There are so many daft comments to be made about bisexuality because as you rightly say, people don't really think about it! Just be clear that just because you like one, doesn't mean you can't like the other...someone told me this:

    Me: Do you like pie?
    Mum: Yeah
    Me: Do you like cake?
    Mum: Yeah
    Me: Same thing but with people!

    It's not perfect but it gets the point across! Good luck!
     
    #3 BookDragon, Sep 5, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2013
  4. Bryar Thorne

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    I used to say

    Sometimes you want the burger and sometimes you want the nuggets but that doesn't have to mean you like one more than the other, you just like to keep your options open :eusa_danc
     
  5. SlytherinGirl

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    I love that comparison, it's hilarious. And accurate to how we are. I could ask my mom how she feels about bisexuals, I just hope it doesn't tip her off. She is friendly with the gay community, and I've talked to her about my GSA involvement. But she assumes I am just a straight Ally. Ah well. I'm going to tell her when she gets home tonight. Hopefully it goes well.
     
  6. the lone wolf

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    I do hope it all works out, best of luck and lots of respect for having the courage to come out! ^^
     
  7. SlytherinGirl

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    Thanks Lone Wolf. It went very well. She took it very well.
     
  8. the lone wolf

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    That's great to hear! congratulations! :slight_smile: coming out to family is probably one of the hardest things.