I became aware of my attraction to women at age 13 and was able to admit this atraction to a fellow classmate in my freshman biology class who admitted to me that she felt the same way. It was our lil' secret that we were bi-sexual. Up until college she was the only person I had ever told that I was attracted to women. Until college I had told myself that my attraction was purely sexual and that it was silly and was only in my head and that I would never be attracted to a woman in real life...part of me still feels that if I had a naked woman in my presence I wouldnt be able to act upon my previous desires...I have had a ton of girl crushes and currently have some now...it is the worst when thyey are on some of my good friends...I dont identify as a lesbian or even bisexual but I do know that I have an attraction to both women andmen...men have never treated me the way tha i eserve to be treated or at least the ones tha tdo I have no intereest in...is it wron of me to try things out with women seeing as realtionships with men have clearly failed... I have had a lesbian ffriend of mine tell me I hsouldnt come out yet until I know for sure...is that good advice? I am tearing up just thinking about the responses I may get from friends and family...I dont think tha people who know me well would eb be shocked...some feedback would be appreciated...
I agree, wait until you yourself are certain before telling other people. Imagine coming out to someone as a lesbian, then deciding that isn't right a few weeks later and coming out to them as bisexual, then realizing that isn't the whole truth and going back and....get everything in order first, then worry about other people.
i agree. until you're sure of yourself, don't really come out to anyone unless you feel they can help you through it without being weirded out--the only person i have told is gay so they don't think it's weird. only tell if it can help you find yourself...
Hi and Welcome to EC! EC can and will help you in figuring everything out! Yes, I do think that your friend has given you great advice. From what you have described, I think at this stage it is important that you first figure out your own feelings and come to terms with your own sexuality before coming out to anyone else. Often societal pressures make it hard for us to fully come to terms with our sexuality and we find ourselves in conflict with our inner feelings. When we start denying our feelings often these denials become 'reality' in our minds only to come back to haunt us later in life. Take your time with it. Don't rush it. There are a number of very good resources on this site that can help you in figuring it out. Stick around and talk with EC members. Don't worry too much about what your family's and friends' reaction might be at this stage. As you become more comfortable with your sexuality (whatever it might be) coming out to others will be a lot easier. You will know when you are ready. Hope this helps.
Welcome to EC! I agree with Asteroid. I think you should try and come to terms with yourself first, and try and figure yourself out before you come out. I had crushes on women for years and years, but convinced myself they had nothing to do with being gay - and I sincerely believed this - until the reality hit me in the face again. This is not to tell you that you are in denial (only you will know this), only to tell you that denial can be a very, very strong and convincing emotion. Your crushes don't necessarily mean you're at least part-lesbian, but I'd say that sometimes denial can be a very strong thing. One thing I've had to ask myself, and you should ask yourself, is: is it that I'm not sure, or is it that I don't want to be sure? There is no rush for anything. Coming out can be difficult, and you need the self-confidence to be able to deal with it. You also need to be completely sure in your own mind, as people may ask you if you're sure, and if you say no, you may confuse them, or it may give them something to latch onto in their own denial. I think that you should wait until you feel more sure and confident in yourself: you will then have the strength to deal with coming out a lot more than you do now. I'm sorry you're so confused. A lot of us on here are. I am confused myself, too, and in spite of my presence on EC, I frequently think of myself as straight, as though I am kidding myself. But I would think about who you fall in love with. And as for not being sure if you could ever do anything with a woman if they were naked in front of you, it's sometimes useful to remember that we have been absorbing society's taboos since the moment we were born, and that it is possible that any dislike of idea could come from that. That said, only you will know the truth, but please stick around EC, because it's really helped me with my confusion and courage, and hopefully will help you too!
