Is this the chickenshit way out..? Letter to my parents I am sorry to not do this in person but I feel more articulate on paper. The past few years have been an incredible journey of self-discovery. I have finally come to terms with my personal and public identity as a disabled person. By accepting my identity I have been forced to acknowledge other ways I have been suppressing myself, and I am finally able to accept and identify as gay. I have known this for some time and have been half in the closet, with a number of my friends knowing. Now I feel ready to be out completely and share this with you. I am not worried about whether you will accepting of this as you both raised me to be an open minded person and to not judge others or be afraid to be who you are. However I know it may be surprising and I understand if you have worries and concerns and that it may take a little while to deal with. As I reach my mid-thirties I am starting to feel unburdened with many of my past concerns about what people think. I want to be happy and free and experience my life in the fullest ways possible, and I know you want this for me as well. This does not change anything, I am still the same person. I need a few days for you to know this before I can speak with you in person. Thank you for giving me some time. I told EDIT a few weeks ago but no one else knows and I will decide when I want to tell them. Thank you for being wonderful parents and supporting me no matter what, through all my struggles. I realize that having kids is a roller coaster and you can’t control what is going to happen to us or what we are going to be anymore that we can. Love your middle daughter
Writing a letter for your parents to read isn't cowardly or anything at all. Everyone should choose what's best for them and their situation, and if this is what you're most comfortable with doing, then go for it. =) Letters have many positives to them. They let you express yourself as clearly and expressively as you can, and there's the benefit of time for both yourself and the recipients. The letter itself looks absolutely fine to me. Cheers to you for preparing to take this great step forward. =)
Thank you Luthan and Ohhai. I too fee like a letter can work especially if you have something to say that you don't think you may be able get out in person. Emily
All the best, and hope your parents will be accepting about it. And also congrats on having the confidence and courage to come out to them.
Personally, I like the letter method. I know some people insist that it must be done in person but I don't agree. As others have said, a letter allows you to clearly articulate exactly what you want to say, eliminates any risk of seizing or bolting, reduces the likelihood of dramatics and allows time for reflection. I actually used an email since I don't live with my parents. This had the added benefit of making it simple for them (at my request) to share the news with my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. (I'm kinda lazy - didn't want to have to do it over and over again lol). Using an email also allowed me to attach a link to the YouTube video that inspired me to come out. Your letter seems fine. Have you thought about exactly how and when you are going to deliver it? I have heard many horror (and amusing) stories about how letters were lost, not read when intended or not read in the company intended.
The letter method is good, i think. Its intimate and sophisticated. Which, i believe is a good thing when you're coming out. I, personally, came out by making a video.
