Hi all, This is my first post here but I have been reading posts on here for the last 3 years. I just never had anything to post here! So bit of a back story before I ask for you guys wonderful help! I have known I was gay since I was about 11. I repressed my feelings because I thought it was wrong. I actually thought I'd grow out of it... I finally accepted it at 15 after having a relationship with a girl. Of course I knew this relationship wouldn't work as I had never found a girl attractive. For everyday I was with her I tried to figure out more ways to get out of it. Skip forward a couple of years I find this website. I read stories of people coming out and it being a great experience. Some how though 3 years passed without me doing anything about it. I really felt like I have wasted this time. But hey! A few weeks after my 20th birthday I finally had the courage to come out to my friend. I spent around 2 hours on the phone trying to tell him, the words just weren't coming out of my mouth! He was cool about it and told me that everyone would be fine if I told them. With this new found confidence I managed to tell another friend who was also fine. Recently I told work. Not out of choice but I accidently put my foot in it when telling a story. They have been really supportive and I actually feel I get on better with my colleagues now. ANNYWAY! Back to the main reason for this post. I have written a letter to give to my mum. I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine about it but I just wanted a few more pairs of eyes to read my letter to make sure its all ok before I send it. Hi Mum, This is a very difficult email to write but feel its the best way to tell you. I am gay. I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind, due to my constant avoidance of anything to do with the subject of relationships. Believe me it's tough coming up with different excuses constantly. I wanted to let you know from me rather than hearing it through the grapevine. My friends know and are totally fine with it and supportive. I can appreciate that this is possibly a bit of a surprise to you. Me being gay is not a surprise to me though, I have known since I was about 11. Although I desperately tried to block it out. I convinced my self it was a phase, although it must now be the longest phase ever (9 years!!). I have had a tough time accepting it. I use to go through months on end being unhappy at the thought of other people's impression of me and the thought of not having a "normal" life. Now I don't really care what people think of me. I also wanted to just say that it is not a choice. I would not chose a lifestyle where there is more chance of discrimination and prejudice. You know me though, I'll always stand up for what I believe in and never let someone stand in my way!! I am the same person I have always been. I still love cars and work. I am no different. And one of my excuses for a relationship stands - I am far too busy! This may also clear up a few things about why I was upset with [BROTHER IN LAW]'s comments. I am use to hearing homophobic things everywhere, although never directed at me. It hurts when it comes from a family member. In terms of telling other people - I am not sure how Dad will take this news. I hope he won't be too disappointed. We never have personal conversations, we mainly talk about cars!! I'm sure [SISTER] will be fine and I don't care for [BROTHER]'s opinion. Grandma and Grandad I'm not sure about them. I do understand this may take a little while for you to accept. I am happy to give you space if you need it. I can try to answer any questions you have. Please don't assume I won't be able to do the things that I'd be able to do if I was straight. I still see my self getting married and adopting children. This letter has taken me about 9 years of thinking about it so please feel free to take as much time as you need. Love from [ME] xx So what do you guys think? Is the letter ok? I was worried it sounds very defensive like I am arguing even though they haven't said anything. Express
It's good. You're an adult, so in a sense its easier coming out. You get to do it in writing. I had to tell my mother face to face. And I'm an only child with divorced parents. So it's just us. I like it, so I don't really have anything to say about editing it.
Debatable one on when it's easiest. It will be different for person to person. I don't know your story but everyone has the oportunity to come out how they want. If you wanted to write a letter I'm sure you could have done, regardless of your age. I'm glad you like the letter!! !
I'm thinking of writing my mum a letter or I don't know I'm too chicken to,tell her face to face x good luck xx
I like the letter, you might want to proofread it though but all in all, it doesn't sound too defensive.
Looks fine to me. Maybe a bit defensive. Mine was a lot shorter. I like the idea of sounding very positive and confident and not giving the impression that ANYONE could possibly be disappointed by the news you are sharing, but maybe that's just me. Hell, I even employed a bit of humor in mine!
