Firstly I have really lovely friends. They are good people that I love hanging out with. But, they don't know I'm gay so when they talk about gay people they say things like 'then she became a lesbian' and 'then she went to hang out with her lesbian friends' as if it was a joke, or it made the person they were talking about less of a person because she was gay. And if a person is gay they will refer to them as the gay person as if it's the only important thing about them. So, I really don't want to come out to them because I'm worried I'll become the 'gay' person they joke about Does anyone that's been in this situation have any advice?
Hi there! I can see why you wouldn't want to come out to them. At the same time, you could be the one changing it all. In some ways, you are the best person to educate them in that, once you are out to them, and continuing to do the same things you have done with them prior to coming out, you show them that you have not changed, and that your sexual orientation is not the only 'important' thing about you or to you. Of course, once you come out or are out, you probably would want to get to know others who are gay, and spend time with them. To ensure that your other friends don't feel that they are 'less important,' share with them you trying to create other friendships as well. If they are good friends, they should understand it.
